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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I haven't had full blown mania for a very long time, @eth, not so concerned about that unless a major stressor occurs in my life. For me it's always symptoms of depression and the mixed and rapid cycles that bother me. The latter are so interwoven and changeable I find it very hard to keep track of what's even going on. But, when I've settled a bit more with the clearer diagnosis and some replenishing time out after Phams, I will likely be looking into further self monitoring. I still feel very surprised at how strongly I've reacted to this news yesterday.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita She crossed every boundary I had agreed on with her and invalidated me at every opportunity. She also invaded my personal body space constantly in an aggravating way. One example of the first issue goes like this :

She talked about hell for 2 hours one night. Several times I told her it was not ok in various ways. I had to pace and stand at the other end of the cabin etc. Eventually we said goodnight and she went to her room in the big house. I had the dog in with me. 1/2 hour after my lights were off (the agreed sign not to disturb me) she banged on my door. The dog went off. I opened the door about 2 inches, didn't let her in out of the cold! She said "darling I think I've let you down". I just said "Nope" and shut the door in her face! I was so pissed off at her. Told her in the morning that she had caused a problem by doing that and she just changed the subject AGAIN and talked about herself AGAIN. My psychiatrist called her a narcissist in her report!!!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hugs, @eth. How annoying it would have been to have to listen to that for so long, and in a confined space, how infuriating! Then your mum not being able to leave well enough alone and bothering you again, gah. When mum visited last, I realised I also have a hard time adapting to sudden changes these days, and do not cope well when people overstep boundaries. Glad this trip is over for you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I hear you about rapid cycling @Mazarita.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita she's a fundamental christian and a member of the Franciscan Order and has trained to be ordained so I guess I should have anticipated some of this stuff at some stage. But this was beyond the pale.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Looking forward to hearing more about your latest experiences, @eth. But I think I'm going to have to try for more sleep again now. Chat again soon. ox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sleep well @Mazarita 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Mum has also become more religious in her older years and would love me to return to catholocism, @eth. Not much chance of that happening though. I am basically averse to organised religion of all kinds these days, though I appreciate personal spirituality.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

We have had such funny rhythms with posting tonight, @eth! First we kept missing each other. Now we keep posting at the same time, lol. The flow will happen better next time, I hope. Always great to catch up with you though. Until next time. ox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Feeling a bit more cheerful after another do nothing morning. Got myself dressed and out the door, on the bus to my friend's place. Cuppa, then pharmacy and a couple of other errands. Now sitting in my favourite spot on the beach. Thinking of people here, like @eth, @Former-Member, @Faith-and-Hope, @Former-Member, @utopia.

Still thinking very deeply about the clearer diagnosis I was given on Saturday. Still affecting me very much. But a little clearer in perspective today than yesterday. Hopefully I will continue to absorb the news even better as the days progress.

Love to all.

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