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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins, yes, it probably is a very ambitious suggestion. I guess I mention it because I sometimes think that what some of us on the forum need is a social worker, even more than a psychologist. So many problems some of us have seem to be related to social structures, limitations and stresses. Lack of housing in some cases. Financial hardship in others. I think it's a very worthwhile area of work. I know for myself my mental health has improved since some of these practical issues have been resolved for now. The only thing I can think of for a hermit is computer work that can be done remotely. I used to do legal typing remotely (until even that even that became too much for me).

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita there would be no age limitations being a social worker which would be a huge plus. Don't have to look pretty thank god (those days are long gone). I will definately look into it and yes you are right when I was couch surfing after my divorce and still very sick it was hell because it was only myself and my mother with my rather silly exhusband at times saying 'Go get a job'. I couldn't even talk let alone stay awake throughout the day ... thankfully he has improved and has apologised since then.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Glad to hear your ex apologised for saying that spectacularly unhelpful thing to you, @Bunniekins. Sounds like you have a good and civil relationship these days. I'm in occasional contact with my ex husband (divorced about 20 years ago). He lives overseas now but whenever we happen to cross paths, we meet up for friendly coffees. Makes a huge difference to me that he forgives me for my shocking behaviour (related to mental illness) when we were together. Now I just have to forgive myself properly.

Couch surfing, yuck. My friend here is doing the same at her sister's at the moment, while trying to find a rental. Sister is being very kind and caring but is micromanaging her to within an inch of her life. Hard to be homeless. I've almost been there a number of times but saved by a bell at the last minute.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Yes my son says my voice in my head was trying to break the family apart ... when I was undiagnosed and clearly sick the family was disintergrating around me so I know about feeling guilty except my ex was having an affair at the same time so I dont feel so guilty

When I see those homeless people on the street I always think 'There by the grace of God go I'.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It makes me so very angry that this affluent community we live in here in Australia does not prioritise housing for all, @Bunniekins. I think homelessness is something that really shouldn't happen. Yet it's getting worse.

But I won't continue with that line of thought as I can get too worked up about it. That would be the problem with me as a social worker - I wouldn't know how to keep myself from being badly effected by the frustrating and depressing aspects of the job.

I'm going off to my art group now. Thanks for the lovely chat. Always so sweet to see the pea around.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Love talking to you Mazarita xx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I can't afford it @Mazarita always had wanted to book a holiday unit for a week at the coast,don't remember it,got photos.I get P**** off like @Sans911 and everyone else at the costs and impact of mental illness and my lack of resilience in this world.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Seen it firsthand. The system though i find needs improving. So many are homeless, there isn't enough housing available and if you are fortunate sometimes you end up being put with ex conficts etc which makes it even more stressful.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Convicts**

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I was thinking about carer fatigue and the need for self care for you after yesterday's post about your Mum and Hubby, could be @eth

good afternoon @Former-Member, @Mazarita, @Former-Member, @Bunniekins, @Teej

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