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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sitting by the river now @Mazarita ..... D3 has longer legs than me and wanted to walk fast ..... I have got no stuffing left today ..... the heat, and cooking lunch hasn’t helped, although D3 pitches in with the lunch prep, which was great ......

My walking count is already 4.8km today, so I have plunked down on a park bench to just sit and look at the water here ......

Some people are swimming their dogs on leads ...... 😏

Your work sounds exciting @Mazarita. I like how you can approach it in increments and let parts of it get before adding to it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Faith-and-Hope, sounds so lovely being plonked where you are.

I find a deep and spiritual connection with the creative process through my video making. I am grateful for the blessing of it in my life. It is my main form of spirituality in a way. Sounds high falutin but I feel a connection with something greater than me through doing it.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sounds perfect Maz 🤗💕

@Mazarita

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I might go back to it now, @Faith-and-Hope. Enjoy the rest of your quiet sit and walk.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Went on carers before Xmas @Mazarita but cared for my mother basically all my life since my father died 27 yrs ago when I just completed HSC.
I'm not having a good time this weekend,tonight I'm stressed, she's not good,way she's going I think she will need full time care.Dont know what's going to happen to me.Made a garden here since we moved but I question that too,if I have to leave I'm just causing more trauma for myself,had a acre or more on the farm,miss it badly @Mazarita all because I believed with stupid counseling I could make a life for myself....all I did was make more trauma.Know about hormones too,feed off the depression and depression feeds off hormones,last week I was premenstrual and get high risks for SC .Can't look sideways at anyone,that's when I know it's that time of the month lol or cry.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

A tough time you are having of it now, @Former-Member, and have had for a long time it seems. I was born in the country and kind of miss it, though I was just a child when mum and I left.

Will you have to take care of all the organising of your mum to go into care when that needs to happen? A hard decision but it sounds like it may have to be made sometime in the future.

Counselling definitely can be not great sometimes. It's taken me a very long time to find a psychologist I can relate to.

For me the hormones are menopause and an anti-depressant that makes you sweat on top of it.

I've had depression since childhood, it's the ground tone to my life. But the new psychologist and a higher dose of anti-depressants are making me feel better for now.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I was on antidepressants until two years ago when I went off them realising they helped me ruin my life,not help it and my problems were not going to be helped by a pill. I don't see a life worth saving @Mazarita,main reason I won't take one now,question everyday when SC thought is in my head .
I can't handle the stress now. Went on carers because I couldn't get a job.Wasn't happy going on it.I've had depression probably since childhood too,obese child which I blame mum for,caused a lot of trauma.I'm on the highway to menopause the Dr told me @Mazarita,I will be glad to not menstrate as I have heavy periods and needed two iron infusions last year.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member, I'm sorry you don't see a life worth saving. Medication and counselling helps some, not others, it seems.

I don't handle stress at all well. Have broken down from work just about every time I've been in it. See no hope in that direction now. Last breakdown I was sleeping 20 hours a day, couldn't stay awake, mind and body just shut down. Except when I'd go suddenly manic for a couple of hours or so, then crash again. That was my last big breakdown, went on for a long time, can't even fully remember how long now.

I can tell you that it is a relief not to have periods. I find menopause more weird than outright bad.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Just listening along here a bit @Mazarita @Former-Member .....

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi, @Faith-and-Hope. You are welcome to chat or listen as you wish.

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