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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member, not a bad use of words at all. I am actually a bit grandiose at the moment (humour).

The gold medal thing is great, really helpful to think about that when troubled.

Splendid sounds great too, hope yours is also splendid!

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @Mazarita @outlander @eth @Former-Member @catgirl @Faith-and-Hope @TAB @Former-Member

and all onlookers plus anyone I have left out....

this part is a bit like having an exam....remembering everyone

getting out of the house is so very hard once one has been isolating oneself...me in this quandrum at present and have been for many years now..

I became so excited that I managed a 30 minute walk.....spent time watering...next day two and a half hours in garden pruning and watering again...

wore myself out...did too much...racehorse mode

heat plays havoc with me also...so possibly some heat exhaustion ...

finding a psychiatrist....psychologist to fit the individual person as well as a gp is a dilemma that many people find themselves in...many give up which sadly hurts the person needing help more than the dreadful medical system itself..

I am sorry...can't remember now who is looking...catgirl? greenpea? eth you have social worker?

I have changed gps a few times since moving up here eight years ago....many do not stay they come for 6 months training and move on...the ones remaining are usually on the board of the clinic and are mostly interested in getting people in and out quickly...my mind does not work that way...I always have a thousand questions...so If I have more than one query (almost always because I do not go that often) I now know to book a double appointment ...this seems to calm the gp laugh...I do understand that going overtime puts whole day out and affects others..

with psychologist and psychiatrist same rule applies as in do they seem interested...concerned...are they listening to you and what is there body language like...most are aware of all of this stuff at first visit..I find after a few you can work out whether they are actually responding to what you said ...or are they generalising...again are they really focussed and listening?

there are some very good ones out there...so keep on trying...trust me it is worth it in the end..you also have to want to put in the hard work as well. at the end of the day they are guided by you...if they are good..

some people prefer the psychologist angle..usually based on cbt skills

others like myself prefer the psychiatrist...I now see a psychotherapist...delving deep..helping to resolve buried feelings...traumas...challlenging but very interesting..I do now also see a psychologist more for my self-esteem which took another battering....self-care and interracting with people again as I have a huge issue with being heard and listened to....needing to learn again the skill of not always responding especially when feeling insulted...

well you did invite raving @Mazarita

lovely to have so many conversations yes...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hello @Mazarita @Shaz51

did my eyes deceive me or did I read that you both have scottish connections?

I have irish and english ancestry on one side...just talking to Queenie about the very same thing...

now be nice...I do know that the relationships between the Scottish ..Irish and English have been a tad strained to say the very least....

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member, yes @Shaz51 and I both have Scottish ancestry. I also have Irish and a touch of English. If you thought this was a volatile mix, two branches of the Irish ancestors come from opposing sides of Ireland! I guess I'm just a crazy mixed-up kid.

By the way, I want to respond a bit to your longer rave this evening. I relate to some of what you say, especially about how hard it can be to move out of our homes once we have withdrawn that far.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I have irish and english ancestry too @Former-Member as well as Scottish my friend

which parts of Ireland and England do you have @Former-Member

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

two branches of the Irish ancestors come from opposing sides of Ireland -- Ha ha me too @Mazarita

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Wow, @Shaz51! We will have to start calling each other 'Scotrish sister'. Lol.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

calling each other 'Scotrish sister'. --- Ha ha Yep @Mazarita

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Brit-mix ancestry here too gals ...... 👋

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Shaz51

Northern Ireland....South Western England..as well as Yorkshire..Canada...apparently some jewish ancestry which was hidden and myself and my new found cousin in England discovered when I was over there....hmm ruffled a few feathers...I think that it is fabulous to have such a mixed background....

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