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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Hi xx

Glad to hear this session was so good for you and hoping the group sessions are just as good.

I finally have confirmation that I'll be starting in a DBT group at the end of the month, after lots of kerfuffle between CoS, plan manager, and the centre's admin people.

Just typed a lot more about what happened and then accidentally deleted it!

Suffice to say I revved a few people in phone calls and eventually had it resolved with an apology from the centre's admin manager and thanks from my CoS.

Just had a very deep session of EMDR so I won't stay on here or write more.

Hope today is going well for you xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good News @Mazarita

I had a lovely day: meant to be a walk by the river, but there was a fair bit of sitting by the river as well.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good news @Mazarita my Scotirish sister

Hello @Appleblossom , @eth , @Zoe7 , @rivergal

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Do you have any websites or information about hypnotherapy. I have no understanding or experience of it ?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @rivergal

Just did a Google search and found this quote that matches my understanding of hypnosis:

"Our mind can be divided into two mental states; conscious and the subconscious. The conscious mind deals with rational thinking and observation that we are aware of while the subconscious stores our life’s experiences, emotions and our core beliefs and habits that have evolved out of those experiences."

I am overall finding it a beneficial therapy. Aside from the trauma session which I was able to end very quickly, the hypnosis session earlier in the week (about 45mins) gave me the most deeply quiet, still and peaceful time inside myself than I've had for a very long time, if ever. This is the part of the therapy that I am most interested in.

There are a huge humber of hypnosis recordings to be found searching YouTube. I have done some of these in the past, but the in-person sessions are more effective for me, partly because my own specific issues are built in to the hypnosis. To me hypnosis seems very close related to guided meditations.

Hi @eth @Appleblossom @Shaz51, love to you and all.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi all @Mazarita @Shaz51 @Appleblossom @Zoe7 @rivergal and anyone else reading here - I hope today is one of the better ones for you all. Just passing by as usual these days, but want you to know I am following and thinking of you often.

Life is just so busy atm and I have additional activities starting soon that I've waited for for some time, so I'm really pacing myself atm and making sure I get enough do-nothing time between commitments.

Take care all xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth

Good you are having a life worth living and still popping in to the forum. Really good!

@Mazarita

Glad it is working for you. I may think about the hypnosis for me in the future. I would like more calming effects without medication. My friend said I had a lot of beta energy around my head ... and i think it is a legacy of all the hypervigilance ...and overwhelming situations.

I have started 2 programs at the moment 1) reading a book for 30 day spiritual exercises by St Ignatious. Last year I did a 30 day Indian inspired practise, this year it is a Jesuit practice, but balanced by other things non medieval, including music and family meditations. I find it relevant to research widely as I feel inspired. I have to acknowledge that 3 people who have helped me through last year, whether paid or not, have been deeply spiritual and not just motivated by the buck and immaturity. It is my way of paying respects to the religion of my ancestors, and sifting between what is intended for spiritual growth and the self sacrificing aspect that had devastating effects in my family.. I also signed up for a 12 week online course including modules on social anxiety and PTSD, with .

https://www.mentalhealthonline.org.au/pages/about-our-therapist-assisted-program

Generally I tend to do better with structure rather than flailing around without direction. However I am also considering a new approach and that is making my music making about what I want to do ... rather than what I should do, or what the parents or exams say .. or is good for students or others, but I start a little, then get distracted by SHOULDS. Given I do not need to earn a lot of money any more, it could work and be very beneficial, as I have spent a lot of my life pushing myself to fit into boxes ... just chipping away at it, gently coming back to the idea that music can be for me... just because.

Gentle Encouragement

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Pacing yourself @eth is a good idea - I am not always as good at that

I do love that life is busy for you as you sound like you are enjoying life and that can only be a good thing

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, adding another voice of really good about prioritising offline life and joining in here as it best works for your own healing journey. I am kind of doing the same, though not as many activities and outside engagements at this stage of things, currently about one thing every week day and proud of being mostly consistent with this so far.

But I haven't really settled yet into good inner rhythms with NDIS, finding some aspects of it very challenging, though loving a lot of it as well. 'Trust in the process' has been a helpful thought arising in my mind during some of the inner conflicts I have been experiencing about things, the feelings of overwhelm at times. Letting go a little of my often tight reins in relation to anything that goes against my grain.

Eth, @Appleblossom, surrender to life is a theme in my psychology/hypnotherapy as well. Through the hypnotherapies, I am feeling a sense of dropping into a more relaxed and grounded space inside myself, and letting go of some of the power of the 'shoulds' that Apple described earlier.

For me, these are the shoulds I feel inside and about myself, and those I direct towards the outside world with its vast imperfections, pains and cruelties, along with its joys, loves, everyday blessings and wondrous magnificence. Acceptance as the bedrock of all change.

I will be starting my psychologist's six week mindfulness course next week. At the moment I am finding an unusual amount of genuine faith in following this healing path, opening myself to it with gentle curiosity.

I am also hoping to continue letting go of my lifelong desperate drives to achieve and succeed at things, that have in the past tortured me for very long stretches of time because of my compulsiveness and perfectionism.

Film-making has pretty much dropped away completely from me at this time and I mostly feel fine about it. I am feeling, seeing and engaging with life in the wider and realer sense and knowing the wisdom of that.

This relates to one of the things you said in your last post, Apple, about your new approach to music making, wanting to embrace it more as something you want to do for you, rather than something you have been driven to with painful pressure, from other people, our goal-oriented western societies, and the stresses arising from within us from internalising it all.

I chime so much with you here. For me this is the essence of my decision earlier in the year that, as I head towards turning 60 next year, I wish to be retired from the world of achievements. Some will probably happen anyway in the future, but I am recognising that I no longer need or want to be chasing after any measure of success in what I do or who I am.

Another of the wonderful affirmations from my psychologist that I've quoted before: I am. That is enough. I am enough.

I feel this to be the early phase of a spiritual discovery and development phase of my life. For now it is about gently growing my acceptance and love of life. Apple, I loved reading about your interesting and unique spiritual practices, how they connect to your personal sense of history and the greater meaning and comfort they may encourage.

Hi @Zoe7 Waves to anyone passing.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

s @Mazarita @Zoe7 @Appleblossom

I'm around for a bit @Mazarita if you're still here. Just trying to learn how to use Uber Eats!

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