FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

26,791 - 26,800 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello everyone.

Ive had the busiest day of my life. I was holding myself together until a transport services officer (wardie) screamed at me. I finally took a moment to step away and cry. Because conflict just triggers me and it was out of the blue. I'm kind of proud that I just took that moment. Breathed. And then got back to work. Just having a vent. I hope everyone's having a good day.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

good on you @Leggs

@Mazarita please go gently on yourself through this period. It is very difficult to focus and come to terms with levels of disability. The first disability job network I went to was big on THINK ABILITY. Atm your main job is to get rhu this assessment period and learning about NDIS.

@TAB I never was obssesed with pop rock music but all the other teens around me were. I liked it a bit and the whole scene did have influence on me, but mainly I was too busy working or studying to have time to develop strong opinions or tastes about it. lol The up side of being poor, really poor. Its interesting being able to research and understand the whole period. I understand some of the behaviours and attitudes of people I knew better now. Back then I just accepted people, as was my way.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

re poor, the quality of food increased every year once established big garden maybe 8 by 8 metres, patched hand me downs were getting phased out around grade 7, we shared bath water lolo never had record player some people used to bring portable ones when visited. I was allowed to listen to radio in kitchen at night so long as didnt have light burning, could get interstate stations at night lol, had the aerial hooked up to steel grapevine trellis seemed to help that lol

mother bought a radio cassette player when mid teens same time brother got one as well so had something to play cassettes on then mum got 2nd hand record player, she must have been house cleaning then re largess lol @Appleblossom

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Appleblossom @TAB

Apple, thank you for your kindness. You are right. Yes, the strengths based approach is the one that works best and I hope to find that more of that feeling as the actual support starts to happen. Aiming (with limited confidence that I'll get there in any sustained way), for one trip outside the home every day to do something. Various other hopes about engaging with real life more and improve physical fitness.

Had a meeting here at home with support/advocate who got NDIS for me, a gift to the world, is that young woman. Things are pretty clear now for the 90 minute NDIS interview over the phone next week, when they decide whatever about it. Anything I get will help me anyway, little or lot, expecting this from last time I had support worker (and will be asking for same one).

Re: music, my tastes were eclectic from the start. I was not obsessed with any popular music as a teen, as with you, other girls around me were. Remember the Bay City Rollers? Hahaha.

I like that you just accepted people back then. I wish I wasn't so highly strung with other people.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hearin u re clothes & food

@TAB

Love the aerial on trellis image ....

little later re record player. Maybe legacy dude worked it out and fixed it up with lil bro. I learned about cassettes after left home. Mother did not let pop radio inside maybe that was bros way of getting modern music in house ... dont get me wrong I liked it but too busy. No spare cash.

I bought shoes and made own clothes from 13 on and was already working after school.

remember mother did not have the green thumb gene when she finally moved into place with backyard. Years after I left. I loved the idea of vegie garden, but did not know how ... it took bro to grow stuff a couple years later. Motivated by green. Did not live in places with backyards much ... even houses ... just spent time on one country orphanage and lots in one dairy farm..

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I used to say hello to strangers around age 10 ish @Mazarita that went away

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita

Glad NDIS is unfolding. Just stay the course.

Ba ha Bay City Rollers ... I def knew that was not my scene.

I moved so much and then never got settled with friends in same year level. 3 older friends ... older aunties and uncles .... often the youngest ...maybe that was a relief from always being oldest sister and looking after ...

.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

sounds tough @Appleblossom yes used to get famous victorian stations at night ones that would see logos on race cars and stickers when used to write letters to companies and the would post stickers back that would end up on school bags and pencil boxes lol

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I left home a lot earlier than you I think @TAB

Had a friend listened to Double J, a friend with old Radio Australia in back yard workshop ... and had done electronics with lil bro before I left.

I think I am lucky to have survived at all ... given the times and the circumstances. It was not all tough ... Maybe I bubble wrapped kids ... then I got worried about son hiding out in back bedroom ... get out and get a life . .. live and learn ... he is finally doing that now ... phew ...

26,791 - 26,800 of 27,230