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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth need to sign off again. Gut hurting in this chair. See you next time, lovely to get a bit longer chat today.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita prior to covid withdrawal I was doing live readings monthly with the local writers centre at the main art gallery in town. Won a small prize a couple of times which boosted me no end. Since March the only sharing of my work I've done has been in smaller writing groups on zoom. I don't publish it online as it's often a criterion for competitions that it not be published anywhere yet. I entered 2 comps last year and am thinking of going in for another one very soon. I don't even put them on the forums as if I do get published at some stage it could identify me.

This last month I've written 2 pieces which I've had amazing feedback on. One of them I then wrote a longer letter in response to, which I sent to J effectively ending our connection. We'd been having a long-distance thing for over a year after him eventually telling me he should never have let me go.

The other one is only 8 words long and came out of lots of note taking and research from my experiences in response to a quote "Our lives may be determined less by past events than the way we remember them". That sure brought up a lot for me around manias, psychoses and the way those who witnessed or were affected by my behaviours would sometimes tell me what 'really' happened ... the difference between the two sometimes astounding. As you know, what happens when we are having an episode is very real to us, no matter how differently others interpret events.

I'm rambling. Hope you're still here.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita hope you feel better soon lovely. I like that no matter whether we coincide or not we can have a stimulating dialogue. Take care xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @eth

When I was here before Covid, I seem to remember you were just starting to do live readings. That's not easy for someone with social anxiety! Proud of you that it developed rapidly into monthly readings. You had also already won a prize back then before I had the gap time on the forum. Was proud of you then for it and knew it would encourage you. Wonderful that there have been more. I think the best thing about awards is the confidence building, helping us feel stronger, and affirming that other people find value in what we do as well.

I am planning to go to a poetry event next month to read my personal poetry for the first time ever. I have spoken publicly before but my poetry is especially intimate to me, so it feels more naked sharing it. Looking forward to my first go at sharing it out loud.

The recent development of publishing my poems to my blog has actually kicked started some more writing of poetry as well. These I am not sharing here on the forum for the same reason as you. The others written here years ago are in my calculation pretty much buried now in the massive archive of posts at this site. I have also edited them considerably before putting them on my blog.

Back before my gap time, I remember you and J had recently been in contact again. I do not know exactly why you decided to end it, but I know that there were imbalances there from what you've said before.

Your short poem comes in just one word less than my shortest! Some people I've been getting feedback from since I started publishing have actually found that one especially powerful. Interesting that so few words can be effective. Generally I write short poems and that's what I like to read too.

That quote about past events and how we remember them is so true.

My gut pain got quite bad yesterday, went to bed after signing off and that eased the pain. A lot less pain so far today, fingers crossed it improves even more. Rang Mum yesterday (who also has Crohns) and she thought it was because of the high distress I was experiencing the two days before.

No plans here today, or almost all week. I actually pulled out of my gentle yoga group because of their 80% attendance rule. I only did one class and missed three, partly to do with physical illness, partly my mental health. They hadn't removed me yet from the class but I was experiencing too much stress and anxiety over my non-attendance and so I pulled out myself.

I ended up writing an email to my support worker that she wanted to pass on to management and I gave permission for that. I talked about how their attendance rule was unhelpful to me and actually worked to reduce my confidence in my ability to attend things that would help me at this time. I said that same may well be the case for some of their other clients. I really liked the first class but the attendance rule triggered mounting stress and self-sabotage about getting there. If the NDIS comes through for me I am hoping for individual sessions with a specialist in yoga for people with mental and physical disabilities.

Until next time, my friend. ox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth @Exoplanet @Bunniekins @Appleblossom @Shaz51 @Adge @outlander @Faith-and-Hope @Zoe7 @Emelia8 @Bow and all,

Big news for me today: I was approved for the NDIS. Two-hour planning meeting with them in a couple of weeks, after which they decide what they will give me to help my ongoing situation. Feeling very pleased and hopeful about the support I may be able to access now, and that it may now be an ongoing thing in my life.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

🎉🎈 So pleased for you @Mazarita .... ❣️

Incidentally I have just had D2's planning meeting, although she was approved a year ago - waiting to see if soon2bx is going to throw any spanners in the works before the plan is submitted for NDIS approval. It won't be a good look for him if he does.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Great news about the NDIS @Mazarita 😄💖👍

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita wonderful news Mazzy!:D Love peaxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Emelia8 Hey beautiful hoping you are doing okay. Thinking of you. Love peaxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning to all here @Mazarita @Bunniekins @Emelia8 @Faith-and-Hope and to others here sometimes @Adge @Meowmy @Anastasia @TAB @MDT @Angels333 @Appleblossom @Shaz51 and anyone I've missed. I'm just not up to doing mass tags these days but there are many others I think of frequently.

Hope today is starting gently for all and has some highlights in it, or at least no major lows. Will be here for a bit if anyone wants to chat.

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