FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

26,351 - 26,360 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Mazzie lovely to see you @Mazarita. Hearing you about the worst day issue in NDIS application. Persevere, if you can. The support I have received has made a real difference. There are issues along the way, so like @Bunniekins it has been a mixed experience, but the positives have been substantial. It feels like a maze and I let others do some of the work too. For me it has been 18 months. I have had a year of physio with a good person who gets me, and is very insightful and it has been crucial in keeping me moving in the right way and at the right pace. I also just started with a nurse with MH training and that has been good as he is very gentle and articulate which is a good fit for me. My previous support wkr just did not get it, tho she told me often that she did get it, but then went on to say things that showed she did not. Sigh ... eye roll ... but anyway that is history now.

This week is proving good.

Cheers All

especially

@Faith-and-Hope @Zoe7 @Shaz51

@eth Your new home sounds great. Lucky you were fine with steps and can be on top floor. Yes we are all different, and our particular disabilities and abilities matter.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

So glad this week is a good one for you Apple. Hugs and hugs Hon @Appleblossom

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 The positivity involves getting back into work and feeling optimisitic about future work. Throwing myself into it, using my whole mind and emotions when teaching or directing choir.

I was better at setting boundaries that was typical for me. Found it immediate and natural without angsting.

Hope you are better. I have had tooth issues too. Puts a dent in things. Take Care

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Back again to catch up on some posts from earlier.

@Appleblossom wonderful to hear NDIS is making a big difference for you. I know it will be the same for me if I get it. The two years I had a pre-NDIS support worker through the PHAMS scheme made a big difference to my life. Even though I still go through huge crashes and may continue to, the work I did then with my support worker gives me a better platform from which to bounce back quicker. Also hoping for weekly physio and specialised yoga for people with mental and physical disabilities (with my old support worker if it all comes off). My support co-ordinator who is doing most of the work on the application is lovely. Like yours she is a registered nurse. Overall it's just so great to hear you are doing better than earlier days.

@Bunniekins thank you for the beautiful big sparkly dragon fly! I have a special memory from when I was only about 3 or 4 years old, living in the country, first time encounter with a dragon fly floating close in front of my face. Magical creatures that I've felt connected to ever since. Glad to hear the NDIS is proving beneficial despite the difficulties of negotiating the bureaucracy. Hope your weekend is going swimmingly.

Hi to @Emelia8 @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @Zoe7 and all reading along.

@eth happy to see your long message. Will read and respond in a separate message.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I love dragonflies too @Mazarita

How is your day going

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Shaz51 had about 11 hours straight sleep last night after some very difficult days with my health again and dealing with the stress of our first rental inspection for the new place. Felt a bit like I'd been hit by a bus this morning but picked up a bit since then. How's your day so far?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita I'm here now if you're still around. Will go read posts for the last couple of days including yours and hope to catch you. xoxo

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth,

Wandered off straight after that last message to Shaz and missed you in real time. Just now read your long post from the other day.

Thank you for your lovely words about being happy to see me again. I feel the same. I am especially happy to read all the amazing developments that are giving you a richer experience of life with more feelings of strength and independence.

The benefits that have arisen from the NDIS for you, and are continuing to happen, are a brilliant pay-off to the incredible persistence and endurance you had in applying for NDIS when it was only starting and so difficult to get for people with mental illness and psychosocial disabilities. At the time I had the feeling it was not worth that ordeal. It went on for over a year if I remember, maybe as long as two. At that time it seemed that the application process was creating great anxiety and significantly reducing the quality of your inner life. I was angry towards the whole NDIS scheme for putting you through that. It is beyond marvellous that it has all resulted in such improvements for you now.

Thanks for the tips about how to go about getting it. I consider you an expert in the scheme for people with mental illness and psychosocial disabilities. I have downloaded the document you referred to about recovery. I will not read it just now because I am trying not to put too much energy into thinking about it while I am awaiting the result of my application. This is to avoid too much disappointment if I don't get it. But even if I do not get it, I may decide to apply again, at which time that document may serve me and my support co-ordinator well. For now, while there's no more to do but wait, it's just fingers crossed.

One great thing that has already happened with NDIS is that my close friend has been approved. I encouraged her to contact the organisation that is doing my application. I love her very much and feel she actually needs NDIS more than me. So even if I don't get it, my efforts will be worth it for the help she will be receiving.

Awesome that your new place is so good, aside from that recent troubling event. As you said, it is not a norm to have that happen where you are now, a contrast to the up-north situation you were in when we first met here on the forum. The location of the new place sounds excellent and just right for you. I know I would like it too. Yay for a bit of posh-yuppie after your past experiences that were sometimes very bad. Sounds like you and I moved into new and better places at almost the same time. Our first night here was November 16.

I am glad you are proud of yourself for all this. I am proud of you too, and inspired. I can't find enough happy adjectives to express my feelings about all the good that has been happening for you, and that you have brought into being.

I still haven't driven for maybe as much as a decade, though still renew my licence. The main thing that bothers me about it these days is traffic. If I was living in the country I would probably be okay with it. Aside from that I just can't afford to have, maintain and run a car. I am paying about 50% of my pension now on rent and utilities.

But I find public transport a good thing for me when I do it. I enjoy the passenger experience of seeing the outside world as I go from place to place, and like the little chats I sometimes have with people at bus-stops. People on this end of the coast where I live are generally friendly, same with bus drivers and many people working in shops. At the moment C is not working and very willing to drive me places. I take him up on that a lot for now, but also give myself days when I make my own way on public transport to appointments, sometimes wandering around doing other things afterwards, like taking myself for a rare cafe meal, or going for a solo walk on the beach. It reminds of the independent strength I had when going around Europe at the end of 2019, which diminished so extremely over the past year.

C and I are meeting friends for lunch on Monday, which will wipe out foruming during the daytime hours at least. I've also been very sick again in the few days since my last message to you and am generally not in a reliable space. For now, let's just hope for synchronicity in our favour for real time chat. We always have these messages to each other for later reading if it takes a while for us to meet at the same time.

Love to you,
Maz ox

26,351 - 26,360 of 27,230