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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

A long rave

Ha ha silver linings guess @Appleblossom re bath, cannot beat having access to bathtub esp when no ones else around to bother you lol

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Kitchen and euro laundry and main bathroom was "his" end of house and did not feel comfortable having baths most of the time I have lived here. So yes. Can put a cuppa on and choose inside or outside table to sit at. I am cut up about it, but not time to go over it all.

I get to do a small reno on vanity and maybe new carpet after paint is done. That would be more fun than the insulation which is what I was going to do ..???

@TAB Nice having grown ups to talk to.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I guess being old implies grown up @Appleblossom lol well at least you have options now and hope he is okay.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Just a quick hi to everyone as it nears midnight. Been away from any regularity on the forum for more than a year now, maybe as much as 18 months. Ups and downs and rounds about etc, mental and physical health both, and of course the big P we are all going through. I notice that one of the regulars here has become a 'former member'. Don't have it in me to read enough posts to work out who that is. May they find wellness whatever they are doing in life.

Special hi to @eth and @Exoplanet whose posts I just read on Exo's Expose. Lovely to have a back and forth with you both. Great to hear you up and happening with poetry again, eth, and performing it via Zoom. Nice to know we are both on the upward rise with our creativity again after months of not much happening due probably to the shock of the times. Exo, lovely to read more about your trip away, which sounds more and more fabulous the more I know of it, and of your massage. Interesting to read eth's thoughts on it too, from her perspective as a practitioner.

Love to all.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita think the former member might be @sherry

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi again @Mazarita yes it's wonderful having a catch up chat with you at last! I'm not here anywhere near as much as I was for a while there. Even tho' I'm at home a lot more due to covid, I am keeping much busier offline. Better for my mental health at this time - I was going down the rabbit hole too often for too many hours.

Speaking of keeping busy - I'm going for a bike ride this afternoon with a support worker who is happy to come with me. First time in many years that I'm getting on the bike. Kinda looking forward to it and not sure how my lack of fitness will hold out so only planning a short one today, but hope to build up in the next little while. Definitely need to work on my health, especially heart and lungs. But also general strength. I'll be here for longer tomorrow if you do feel like a real time conversation. Lots of love back to you my long time friend

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning afternoon (!) and warm greetings to all who've tagged me since Friday. Sorry I've not been around, but offline life has been happening in a healthy way.

I'm busy again this afternoon so wanted to say hi to you all and let you know I am following along, just don't have a lot of words atm. I will be here for longer tomorrow if things go according to plan.

@Judi9877 @MDT @WIP @Angels333 @Bunniekins @frog @TAB @Appleblossom @Shaz51 @Anastasia @Bezak482 @Maggie @CheerBear @JB70 @Zoe7 @outlander @Exoplanet thanks a lot for including me when I'm not around as much.

Covid has reared its ugly head again in my town so I've just had to cancel one of my support workers - just when I was planning to increase my time with her from 1 to 4 hours a week. Someone she's connected to is unwell and getting tested after being at one of the hot-spot venues. At this stage my other support worker is clear of it so I'll be having 2 x 2hr outings with her this week fingers crossed. Going for a short bike ride this afternoon - trying to turn over a new leaf re fitness, which has declined even further over the last 4 1/2 months (hard to believe we've been distancing for that long).

Hope you're all having a peaceful day and reaching your goals for self-care. take care and stay kind everyone.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That is frustrating about your support worker but hoping she is all clear and not affected by the virus @eth Good on you for upping the physical fitness - I need to do the same when I am feeling better so I should get the bike out and follow your lead.

Take care of you too Hon - hugs and hugs

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @eth

hello to you too! Covid is wreaking havoc and certainly adds to daily challenges that's for sure! A bike ride sounds lovely, good for you!! Enjoy the fresh air and scenery, take care x

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth
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