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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

Hey @Former-Member I love your gratitude list. 'Resiliance and vulnerability' is a good reminder to me. To me that's living to the full.

The virus really adds layers of loneliness and grief to everyday struggles and I'm sorry to hear you are feeling lonely.

My gratefuls: a bit of sun, music, clean water, enough to eat.

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

Thanks @frog 😊

Your gratefuls are simply beautiful and so important. I hope you get to experience them all today 🌞

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

Hey @Former-Member @frog what am I grateful for today? Getting new art materials and gifting myself the experiences I'm having doing the woman unleashed retreat. I'm just choosing a few of the 30odd presenters and enjoying doing their sessions in my own time.

And also my brother's comittment to getting me out and about, both with driving practice and going for good walks together. Feel lucky to have the support I have here. I know well what it's like to live in isolation with no supports at all.

Thanks for asking @Former-Member

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

Hey @Former-Member and everyone passing through. I do hope your pain eases soon @Former-Member. This virus has made alot of things much harder than before because of the isolating. I sometimes feel lonely also even though I have my little man with me.

Everyone's grateful lists are wonderful. They have what is needed to enjoy life and put a smile on your face.

Anyways things that I am grateful for today:
* my cat too - though he has been very judgy lately 😅
* my little man finally having a long nap! (1hr 40mins to be exact)
* heating - it is just too cold.
* loving parents and a loving husband.
* friends I can rely on.

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

EVERYTHING CATS!!

hello @Blep , @Mazarita , @eth , @Former-Member , @frog

tha link above is all about cats

what kind of cat have you got @Blep , @Former-Member

things that I am grateful for today:--- is

the sun is out today -- yaaaa

for cofffeeee

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

I am Grateful for just having had a massage @Former-Member @Shaz51

Even though I had to drive 16Km for it, in an unfamiliar place (suburb).

Adge

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

have not had a massage in a loonnggg time @Adge

and then i had a big sleep after it

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

Yes I am very tired, after massage @Shaz51 I was very tired before my massage too.

Had trouble driving there (unfamiliar place).

Adge

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

Loving your gratitude list @eth . Hope you had a good day 💜

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

Hey @Adge

Travelling under stress undose some of the good of the massage. Hope there is enuff good left to make it worth it.

@BlepHearing you about being able to warm the house.

I am grateful I have finally done all the

"Feel it to heal it" work that @eth mentioned. As I did feeling work at primal at same time as academic work in the field, it has long been part of my approach to life. Yet I did have to "feel" too much for too long, so yes nervous system totally stressed out.

Things are beginning to make sense to me which is a good. I am getting a better sense of Theory of Mind and working out where others are coming from, rather than just having to submit left right and centre,

Yep @Former-Member Good to have you on board. I am grateful for my cat too, but he has been talking to @Blep 's cat too much and being very picky about food.

My bottom line is that he is spoiled enough and needs to understand that humans have needs too. I offer him my bowls of salad as well as shared some yummy roast pork last week. Honestly I first learned about the new "Choice and Control" mantra at the zoo. Now told I can apply it to myself.

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