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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

@Adge That’s good news. Or it will be once the problem is fixed. All the best. 💜💜

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

Hi @Adge good to hear you will finally have the problem with the stitches corrected. And hope your air purifier helps with your allergies. Sending warm wishes to you.

And Hi and best wishes also to @Maggie @Faith-and-Hope @Bunniekins @Appleblossom @Zoe7 @outlander @Former-Member @Former-Member @MDT @Judi9877 @Exoplanet @Jupiter @Shaz51 @Sans911 @saltandpepper @Blep

I can see that you've all tagged me since I was here last in my notifications. Will go now and read your posts and respond where I can. Lots to catch up on I'm sure. Probably a lot of other people I could tag here.

I've been swamped in my offline life lately as most of you know so haven't had time or a lot of words and energy to be supportive here, I'm sorry. Hopefully the air will clear soon. Still working daily on my public housing bun fight and very little energy between times. Anxiety, panic attacks and depression about it all have been plaguing me. Have the chance to go to the farm again this weekend but haven't decided yet whether I'll go. If I do it will be from tomorrow til Sunday so I'd miss the Saturday Soiree again. Tossing up if it's better for my mental health to get away or to stay home and re-connect with all here and just rest up.

I did start with my new psychologist yesterday (after another 2 hour meeting with my support coordinator) so it was a big day. She seems kind, intelligent, and very much trauma-informed. She said her approach is mainly 'psychodynamic' therapy that blends a few approaches, largely focused on childhood traumas and their effects, but also on adult traumas. I don't know much about how it works yet. Will see how it goes with her for a few sessions as she seems a good fit initially. She said she does work long-term with people and I didn't tell her that I'll probably go back to my previous psychologist when/if she comes back from maternity leave. We talked a bit about the grief I've been having at leaving the previous one, who I'd seen most weeks for 3 years. She understood and validated me. Booked another 4 appointments, weekly from the week after next.

Take care and stay kind everyone xoxo

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

@eth, I read you are tossing up about this weekend , hugs my friends

how are you feeling about it xx

you did have a big day yesterday and soo much is happening at the moment , soo to weigh up ( do I need a just stay at home weekend ) or something different

my new psychologist yesterday, glad it went ok

mr shaz was passed around to soo many psychologists , that he does not have any now

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

Mixed feelings @Shaz51 I know I 'should' get out of the cabin for a few days, but just really feel like a couple of days by myself at home. I will go for a walk with a support worker tomorrow afternoon and knock back the offer of going to the farm. It's freezing up there plus the slopes are no good for my left foot neuroma ( have one in the right foot too but that doesn't flare up like the left one does when I'm up there). Really should see podiatrist again soon but haven't done anything about it yet.

Hope you are having one of your better days today and get a chance for some me time at some stage xx

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

Sounds like a very positive first appointment @eth . Validation is so powerful.

I hope that you are able to build a helpful relationship with her.

Sending you warm hugs, and a nice cup of tea. I'm having a cup of camomile, honey, & vanilla right now x

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

Thanks @Molliex . Haven't seen much of you lately. Hope you are doing ok. Warm wishes back atcha xx

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

@eth It’s a good start. It takes time to feel at ease with new people, let along go over your history.

You have had so much on for some time now. Some down time for yourself might be really good. Soon nice cooking, music etc.

Sending some 💜💜💜

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

I'm around @eth but not posting much. I read everything I'm tagged in. I'm going through a tough time and don't have much to give to others. My energy is taken up looking afternoon me (which is a positive change I guess, actually caring about myself). 🌼🌼

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

with your foot @eth , might be a good chance to put it up and relax xx

Hello and hugs @Molliex , @Maggie , @Bunniekins

In response to: Re: anRe: A long rave

Re: anRe: A long rave

@Molliex I don’t have words, but sending some 💞💞💞💞 I’m pleased you are taking care of you. Gentle steps. 💜💜💜

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