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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi everyone @Shaz51 @Former-Member @eth @Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope @TAB @Bunniekins

The Union emailed me, Re: Redundancies at (my ex-employer) - it was a general email, because many people from that organisation seem to have been made redundant.

Then requested information, when I replied that I was one of those terminated without indication. The communication was helpful, giving me opportunity to mention my situation.

Yet it also brought up a lot more grief (perhaps triggering), which left me feeling worse.

My 1st Yoga class back (Thursday afternoon) was good – very strange sanitising procedures, disinfecting all mats etc.

Online Dating - A lady I'm in contact with, asked about my work – so I told her of my redundancy (today).

Now I’m afraid that she will end & conversation, or not reply.

Everyone wants to Date someone who has a job (is employed).....

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Adge Hey Adge so sorry to hear about your job .... lbut being honest about being made redundant is far more important than having a job. Being a truthful person is a very attractive asset. Love peaxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Think house beats job in date stakes but yeah @Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Bunniekins & @TAB

Yes I'm truthful, hopefully that is attractive (like you said).

Yes honesty is not always the best policy (sometimes backfires)....

House Better than Job in Date Stakes - Good one TAB.

Maybe, even if it's a run-down 45 year old place....

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hah I remember quick talking when meeting people at motels 🏨 when was fifo lol. Caravan park was a bust lol. Need a house @Adge lol

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I agree with @Bunniekins @Adge - truthfulness is very attractive.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sending my warmest wishes to you @Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Message to Self....

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita It was a lovely feeling to come online and see a notification from you. I love that you do drop in occasionally and would really like to catch up with you one of these days. Decided to reply here as I don't have any current pieces to share on the writing thread. Hope you're enjoying your quiet time and doing lots of self-care stuffs. I'm not here as much as I was for a long time either. Offline life has a way of taking over at times and it's probably good for me to be taking care of overdue tasks.

Lately my biggest challenge has been doing my public housing application and gathering all the evidence required to go with it. Thank goodness for my support coordinator who is helping me with it. For weeks there I was feeling so overwhelmed about it that I avoided doing anything about it. Well, for months actually. Spent the whole day yesterday so immersed in 12 months of bank statements that I forgot to eat! Seeing what my total medical out-of-pocket expenses add up to was a shocker. Over 1/4 of my entire income after rent.

Hi also @Adge @Bunniekins @TAB @Maggie @CheerBear @Zoe7 @Former-Member @Snowie @Shaz51 @frog @outlander @Sans911 @MDT @Molliex @Appleblossom @Exoplanet @Jo-anneJoy @WriterMelb @NatureLover @Jupiter @Former-Member @Former-Member @BlueBay @Angels333 , anyone I forgot to tag and anyone else passing here today. Hope the day has started gently and continues to be so. Wondering if there's been any word from @Former-Member and if she's coming back?

Will be around for a while this morning if anyone feels like a chat or would like some support. Please feel free to tag me on your threads or any others I can contribute to. It's harder to keep in touch with a lot of people when I'm not here so often.

Take care and stay kind everyone xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

theres a PBS safety net card ? if that applies re meds @eth well theres some way of getting meds cheaper if spending a lot on them, maybe ask chemist or someone? anyway sorry for being a busy body not up to much here, power been off 7hrs after storm, roof still on house,car still in 1 piece, blooddy rooftop ac has decided being windy means turnwater valve on by looks of roof, so will have to get a bigger ladder from somewhere and turn it off

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