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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Same thing happens with distraction for me too @Mazarita plus the time it takes to do more than the most basic reply.

Good that it's not too long to wait for the psychiatrist. And great that you and your psychologist work well together. Needless to say (but saying it anyway!) I have big angst about the process of finding someone to replace my psychologist. Ending with one and starting with a new one is challenging for us all. Probably sounding like a cracked record about that lately.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hehe to the cracked record, @eth. Not that, but I have been aware of the worry you have been going through about it. Understandable to keep repeating it, especially as the last session approaches. Sorry if you've already told me this, my memory is not great at the moment, but do you have a new psych in place yet?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

No I don't @Mazarita . The current psych was going to find the right person and do a detailed hand over but she became very unwell before she did any of that. She was to be going on maternity leave at the end of the month but now has to finish tomorrow. And is doing that from her bed so hasn't done any paperwork for me. All that will happen now is that she'll give me a few names to shop around and I'll get a referral from pdoc or gp. On top of a transition report detailing my trauma map and EMDR work that she had been going to do, I'm also waiting (for weeks now) for a letter of support for public housing application and a statement of 12 months' fees to go with that. Bro wants me to have some sort of back-up plan in place for just in case something unexpected happened here (triggered by bro and sil updating their wills and the fact I have no lease here). That's pretty huge too. Just the document detailing evidence required is 18 pages long! Can't proceed with the application until I get the letters from psychologist and psychiatrist. It's a work in progress.

I know it's not the psychologist's fault, life can be unpredictable for anyone, but it's really frustrating at my end.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth ah, I see. Yes, there is quite a bit of admin there. I can see how it might require patience now that times have changed. As with most things, it's probably one step at a time with it.

I can imagine too that this coming up at all with the housing may be anxiety-producing. But it seems so unlikely that bro and sil are going to die now. Taking each step as it comes with the alternative housing plan seems fine for now. That is a long report to be done for it though!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita probably confusing the way I wrote it. The detailed report (trauma history etc) was to be for new psychologist; the letter of support for housing is something else I need from her. To support me needing a low density situation and if that's possible in a 2 br flat so I can have a support person when I need one. Both for mh reasons.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth I am vague a lot at the moment. Not really thinking straight. Maybe the next psych can do the housing letter.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

No problem @Mazarita it was confusing the way I wrote it. And you're right with your suggestion about the letter. I just feel it would be better coming from someone who's been seeing me for longer. It will be what will be. Out of my control, as is so much these days.

But I do hear you about feeling you are vaguing out a lot. It's very frustrating when that's happening, but perhaps your mind/body are letting you know that the time for stillness and rest is not yet done.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita a message for you from my Medicine Woman Tarot deck :

Major arcana 12 : Vision

"Take a complete time out. You are going to see yourself and your life in a whole new way. Do not do anything until you do. A great inspiration is coming."

Hope it speaks to you

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes it is frustrating for you, @eth. It is a big new start moment when we start seeing a new psych. So much is out of all of our control at this time.

Yes, rest seems necessary. These are such disorienting times.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth that's a lovely reading. Thank you! I have the sense of my worldview changing. Perhaps an opening of my mind to new ideas and understandings. Taking stock of what might have been my beliefs and attitudes and being open to them changing to evolve with this new world, becoming more fluid.

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