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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh wow @PeppiPatty - that has continued on and off for a long time - but to hear I was 'inspiring' at the time has certainly given me a huge lift today. It has been a tough 24 hours - alot has happened but I can't actually write about any of it here!

I can't wait to see this painting you did for your Mum - and I think I will invite myself to dinner tonight - roast chicken - yum. Reminds me of Sunday lunches at my Nan and Pop's - was the best day of the week for me!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Image is up - it is so adorable @PeppiPatty

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @PeppiPatty so nice to see you. I'm in Newcastle, not Sydney thank goodness. And yes I made the break from public housing. I'm now living in a cabin in my brother's back yard that he and his wife built for me. They are really supportive and caring towards me. I am lucky to be here and it's MUCH better than where I was.

How are you? What are you up to these days? Looking forward to a catch up 🙂

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I had goodebumps through yours and mazarita's video @PeppiPatty 🙂 Would love to read your poem if/when you share it. Your painting is beautiful 💗

Hope you have a good night with your son

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @PeppiPatty, @Zoe7, @CheerBear, @eth, @Shaz51,

For some odd reason I'm not getting email notifications when I'm tagged. Or some come through but others don't. Anyway, I'm back from visiting my friend now and can chat for a while if anyone feels like it.

@PeppiPatty, cool painting, what a great gift for your mum. Would love to read another of your poems. How lovely that your youngest son's visits are becoming regular in a good way. You've been gone from the forums for quite a while. What's been happening in your life? My 'lifestyle' issues were pretty much more of the ups and downs I go through over time, especially when anything too stressful comes along. Or anything stressful much at all. Some things in my life have gone backwards or stayed the same. Other things have improved. Like getting out into the world a fair bit more than I used to lately. It is wonderful to see you back again. ox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita That has been happening for quite a few of us - F&H and I often don't get each other's posts and I know I have not gotten alot lately from certain members - which is not good as I check emails often but not notifications - so if no email I won't even log on. When I 'come across' a post that I have been tagged in but not received an email for it is often 'too late' to reply or that person may have 'disappeared' offline. This then upsets me as I feel like I have 'ignored'; someone when I haven't actually know they have posted.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita 🙂 How was your afternoon?

Something funny but not happened just after your reply to my photos of the icy morning this morning. I heard a bit of a rumble then a pop and water gushing and one of the pipes had burst! Winter definitely has it's not so nice parts here. All fairly easily sorted but I had a bit of a laugh and a wake up call from my dreaming.

Hope your night is going well 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7, I've only noticed the lack of email notifications just recently. But it seems today I've missed many tagged posts. Now I wonder how long it may have been happening. Just as an aside, I personally believe there is never any obligation to reply to tags. For me this is a basic forum right. There are a lot of people on the forum and it's just not possible to speak to everyone. We may also be trying to prioritise our 'really real' life over forum life. Many reasons why we would not respond. I think you wrote about this elsewhere too. It's troublesome when we feel guilt over being here (and I get it too, dammit).

@CheerBear, what a wake up call from a reverie on beauty. Good to here it's somewhat sorted and hope there's not too much to do to have it completely sorted. Glad you could have a laugh about it too. Sometimes life does seem like a black comedy. The afternoon was good: currawongs, people I love, easy going chat over coffee. Dinner has now been had at home. All is okay. Hope there's been some good times for you today aside from adventures with ice!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I do agree with you @Mazarita - unless I am specifically tagged in an ongoing conversation I certainly prioritise who and when I reply to. I 'like' many posts so those who have tagged me amongst others know I have read and acknowledged them but will only reply if I feel I can 'add' anything to the conversation. I have significantly 'cut down' the threads that I have subsribed to and that does make it a little easier as well. The 'guilt' part comes into play when I am 'expecting' a response from someone (again in an ongoing conversation - and usually when I am the only other person in that 'conversation' ) and I don't get the email and then find out later that there was a response. I know I should not feel any guilt over this because it is not 'anyones fault' but it is annoying. This also becomes an issue when I myself need some support and I do not think anyone is around because I haven't received any 'replies' when I have asked for support - and that is not an easy thing for me to ask!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita I'm back if you're still around.

Hi everyone!

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