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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes @frog I am. I have the B R A V E acronym on my fridge beside the front door of my cabin where I see it every time I enter or leave.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm a fan @eth

She has a free podcast series out: Unlocking us.

Not all of them grab me, but the ones on FFTs (F#$%ing First Times) and Grief seem particularly relevant in the pandemic environment.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @frog Hugs to you

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Zoe7 Thanks for the ... back at you lovely!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

How are you travelling @frog ?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Things are in such a state of uncertainty and flux that it's hard to answer @Zoe7 ! I had my first day working from home. It didn't go well, but maybe my expectations were too high. My daughter and partner both lost their jobs in the space of a week, and my other kid is homeschooling with mixed results! All happening. How about you?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It is pretty exhausting here trying to work out how we are going to cater for all our kids next term - whether they are home schooling or at school. We have one of our team working from home which actually makes it really difficult but there is something we can do about it.

Sorry to hear about your daughter and partner - it is such a tough time for so many @frog I hope they are getting financial support and will be okay until this all eventually passes.

I think in regards to expectations - it is hard to balance home life and work - especially with a child home schooling. I am sure you will find a balance but it will take time - especially when new routines need to be established.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi to all here @Zoe7 @frog @Mazarita @Exoplanet @saltandpepper and anyone else passing by. Haven't got much to say this morning. Early start and felt ok but quickly descended into bleh. Some things in this world are so shocking but somehow not surprising. I'm quite the cynic and some days it's only reinforced by reality out there. Probably should just go offline for a while. Catch you later.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth

I too am finding my feelings shifting in various directions with what is happening around us. Part or all of yesterday and today I have been worried again, about the future for us all, imagining dark scenarios that could arise, overwhelmed at times by how complex the results of all this may be.

Other days, hours or whatever amount of time, I find hope in the possibility that this is a big chance for we humans to find better ways of being together as part of the earth. Continuing to find things to laugh at about some things happening, sometimes afterwards I feel dark again. Processing different feelings, states of being, and thoughts, day by day.

Fatigue levels go up and down. Yesterday, today, very low energy, feeling pretty constantly that I want to sleep. Using the smiling mind app for short mindfulness exercises. Did the sleep one last night, followed by some binaural ambient music. Did the opposite of help me sleep. Works better when I can just drift in the armchair with the earplugs on.

Sleep is wildly all over the place, which is why I am finding it impossible to set any time and day for a real-time chat. Pen-friend mode is the best I can manage for now.

I sound so morose. I kind of am today. Things are not always this low. In some ways, perhaps the main ways and as usual, I am going okay.

Love to you, @Exoplanet, @Appleblossom and all reading and writing here.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Exoplanet

Good to see you, even if you are feeling a little cooped up. Hugs

@frogStressors are building. I hope you find a way through the financial and lockdown struggles.

@Zoe7Glad you are still here.

@eth Feel we have connected really well lately.

@Mazarita

Yes I think things can go many ways with this global crisis. I also have had fearful scenarios appear in my mind, but they are not too intrusive and I find enough others thinging and feeling the same but also putting effort into finding the positive. Mostly it does not degenerate into cynicism, which I think is important, but more like extra caution and quieter lives with deeper focus.

But a few wild cards and crackers going off, could change the direction of societies to more restrictive and authoritarian ...

Take Care ALL who are reading and passing this way.

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