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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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@eth

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Re: A long rave

s for you too @outlander I'd love to catch up but am bombing out fast here. Maybe we'll get the opportunity tomorrow on Saturday Soiree - all welcome!!

Nitey nite xx

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Re: A long rave

hoping you get some good sleep tonight @eth
will try to catch you tomorrow, im not to sure ill be up for that thread though..

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi everyone, hope there are some good moments for all of us amidst the weirdness these days.

@eth, the dream of being unable to fix chaos sounds about right in the current world situation. Good you gained that insight about other personal matters as well. Fantastic you got to the beach. Maybe tomorrow for me.

I am struggling to accept the events we are living through now. I feel sad for humans everywhere. That sad feeling just came on me tonight, a release and a relief from confused and anxious feelings, especially over the past week or so. Mostly I just seem to want to sleep to get away from it all. That's on top of the usual fatigue.

Visits every couple of days with my friend in the beautiful lush green valley suburb where she lives - this is helping me the most. We sit at her back yard table for a couple of hours on these visits. We see and hear lots of birds. Some visit in the backyard. Wide open sky there, just across the road from a huge wetland park. Masses of bats fly very high overhead at twilight. The night sky is wonderful to behold. Moments of grounding and reassurance with nature.

For now we feel okay about visiting these friends, as they spend most of their days and nights at home, mostly only going out for shopping. Both of them have serious health issues, like me. My close friend's brother works from their home, but his work has completely dried up now. They are okay about seeing us too, at least for now, while C is not working his childcare centre job.

I'm beseeching the universe that these centres are closed down before he has to go back to work, though he'll probably lose his job altogether if that happens. He is philosophical about that. Childcare workers get paid very little. Newstart wouldn't be a massive financial shock to him, though he'd feel it for sure.

One thing that has been a constant in his almost 10 years in the job, is viral illness from the kids. Childcare centres are highly contagious places. Hoping he doesn't have to go back because I'll admit I'm worried about my own always dodgy health if he brings the wrong virus home with him. Aside from chronic auto-immune disease, I'm a smoker and my lungs are not in the best shape. Also I'm getting up there towards 60.

I have been very serious with my mum down south about staying home. She is 84 and has COPD (a chronic lung disease). Trying to be helpful as best I can from up here, two states away.

How heartening it was to received about five instant responses to my callout on FB for friends to take her some books to read. She told me she was desperate for that, sick of her Foxtel. Within two days, one of my friends have already delivered her three books. Another friend has already called her and had a good chat, offering to help her with anything else she needs. I may be doing internet shopping for her from up here.

@Angels333, so sorry to hear of your anxiety about your work and future. Hoping the federal and state governments come through with effective measures to help us with income and housing at this time. I read in the news that they were in discussions about how to do this today. I think we will hear more about that over the next week. Feeling for your situation. Great to hear you have been out walking with Mr Angel. Always feel free to post here.

Hi to @Zoe7, @BlueBay, @Molliex, @Former-Member, @MDT, @Snowie, @Valentine, @outlander, and all. Well wishes to everyone.

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Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita people shouldnt feel bad or responsible for what is happening? Maybe it is the Earth trying to heal itself?

I dreamt the other night I was in a submarine when didnt really want ot be in it, or walking outside into poisonous vapours?..

Okay I had had a bad couple of days trying to process things

feeling a bit better about it now.

Rang 96 in august father first time in months the other day, he came out with oh you havent got that virus have you? (being funny)

yes childcare workers paid is hopeless was the min wage last I heard well $16/hr ish a few years ago, but still triple the dole ha

Although there were some noises yesterday in from govt of temp increase in dole ie but that has its own problems like 2 tier welfare guess, with people living on nothing, and ones like me get run around for 3 months to re register then its all friendly shiny bubbly New Newstart for middle Class .. hmm

I stopped smoking nye 2018, found out lost more than ever knew about its effects after stopped, things with bloodsugar, physical effects on brain lining etc etc and Dr told me if smoking at 55 or over not much benefit in stopping .. oh well

anyway was up early and your post made me think. I remember seeing bats silhouetted against moon on chance trip to pick some one up from train in Newcastle years ago .. had never seen anything like it before

Oh. at work yest(got couple days) few bodies hadnt seen since year before last maybe stopped to say hello, one offered hand, I made a joke of it pretending I was struck down, well was funny at the time, I proferred a handless glove to second offer of handshake from other guy ..

In response to: Re: A long rave

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Hey @Mazarita thanks for your long reply. I think the hard part is working out for how long this is going on for. I'm too obsessed by that. Having no job now gives me all this spare time.

Mir Angels has an autoimmune disease as well, he goes to hospital for infusions of immunosuppresants every 8 weeks so he is at risk also. Sorry to read you are also in this category. I'm still glad you are able to visit your friends.

Love Angels333

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@Mazarita

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Re: A long rave

Good morning @Mazarita @Angels333 @TAB @outlander @Snowie and anyone else around today. Hope it started gently for you all and goes according to plan.

Loving seeing your raves @Mazarita and trusting that sharing here again is helpful to you - you are much loved and appreciated.

Glad to hear C is not working now. That must have been quite a concern for you given your ongoing physical health situation. I feel for you more than ever about that. Lovely to hear your description of your friend's environment and that you are getting to spend time there. It's so important for us to remain connected to our communities (however small they are) at this time.

Glad to hear how people responded to your request for your mum. My mum just told me she was contacted by her library and they will be doing book deliveries. It's hard knowing they are frail at their age (mine's 80 this year) and being so far away. My sister in the same town as her has still not gotten over a period of estrangement (18 months) from Mum - it disappoints me that she isn't responding to these times by putting it behind and being kind. My bro is really angry about it and has started looking for flats for mum near us.

I am cancelling my support workers for now and feeling very lucky to be here with bro, sil and sil's mum, who moved into their house next door last year. One of us can shop or do the chemist for all of us and other than that we are in pre-emptive isolation.

Looking forward to seeing you in real time sometime soon xoxo

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