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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Another thing for my $$ list - Office Suite for my computer so I can use Word like everyone else seems to. Just spent 2 hours working on my resume - more about that on the Saturday Soiree - all welcome!! thread.

I think that benefit the PM promised us on welfare (hate that word) is already virtually spent and there's another 2 weeks to wait before it even happens (if he keeps his promise!).

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I just watched a Romance movie (called "Yesterday") on DVD.

I needed something special (I don't watch TV hardly at all) - so I bought ex-rental DVD's from the one remaining Video rental store.

I love romance stories & movies (yes mushy).

Yet it also left me feeling so sad - as nothing turned out even half as endearing or romantic as any romance story.

I'm definitely a relationship person, not a go it alone person.

Yet I've had to go it alone for almost 10 years now....

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sending love your way @Adge I've done life solo for a long time now - except for 1 year in a relationship that ended in disaster where I was physically hurt very badly, and one friend with benefits I saw infrequently over some years - that one doesn't count to me as he always said it wasn't a 'relationship' and kept me entirely separate from the rest of his life. Haven't had a share your life companion since 1998. (Wow hadn't realised it was quite that long!) Most of the time I think of it as being good not to have to negotiate everything with another person or seek approval etc, but really that's just rationalizing the way things are. The fact is it would still be very difficult for me to really trust another, and I can't do love without total trust. But I do hope that I get to share my life again before it's over.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita @Appleblossom @Zoe7 @MDT @Adge @CheerBear @Maggie @Faith-and-Hope@greenpea @outlander @Exoplanet @Sans911 I've decided to cancel all my group activities this week so I'll probably be here more.

Water tai chi has mostly older people and the disability alliance womens and mental health groups are also quite a few people in higher risk categories for the virus. So best not to take chances with it. My brother is in quarantine away from here until someone he's had contact with gets their test result back, so it's all pretty close to home now. I think having the forums to come to will help us all get through this without feeling too isolated.

And in all honesty I have to step up my personal hygeine too. Shower more often for a start, change bed linen etc.


Take care all.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good thinking re hygiene @eth

I have become a bit of a germophobe. I hope your brother is okay.

Yes the forums are great for keeping connected

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for sharing & understanding @eth

I think you said it well - relationships are about sharing your life with someone.

I've never had a friend with benefits - although my female friend has had that situation with someone.

Keeping someone separate from the rest of one's life - doesn't seem possible, & would not make that person feel valued or appreciated.

Sorry, I'm too tired (taking too long to write a few lines) - shall have to stop.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth @MDT @Adge @Mazarita @Zoe7 @Former-Member

and all passing by

As you said eth ... online forums can be great and prevent transmission of germs but break social isolation.

Wishing everyone the best in these changing and uncertain times.

At least there was hand sanitiser and loo paper when I volunteered today.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @eth ... just wanted to thank you for keeping me in the loop over the past couple of weeks while I have been off line. Its always nice to see a post tagging me and checking in. I very much appreciated it, especially during my darkest moments.

What a shame about having to cancel all your usual group activities. But with all thats happening with this COVID-19 and the vulnerability of our elderly citizens, there really is little choice. They need to be protected. The same is likely to apply to my volunteer gig too, where I visit residents of a nursing home. I expect I will hear this week that all visits are off for the time being.

Oh goodness, it really is close to home for you now ... with your brother in forced isolation pending virus test results. Yes its very important for you to also follow strict hygiene measures to ensure your own safety as well.

Thankfully ... the Sane forums remain a safe place to be. 😊 Wanna know one good thing to come of it all? Ha ha ... we will likely see more of you around here. Thats always a good thing for the rest of us. Definitely a bonus. 💕

Please take care.

Sherry

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Take care. That is very close to home. There was a washing hands demo at a meeting I attended this morning. Paper cups etc. it’s really serious now.

It will be good to see you more during the week. I hope your brother is ok. 💙💙💙

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@MDT @Maggie @Former-Member @Appleblossom @Adge just napped for a couple of hours which was really nice. I think this weekend is a turning point in terms of Australia's response to the virus. S#!T gets real. And I think Dutton getting it has woken up our leaders. Except for scomo of course, going to a huge Hillsong gathering today. This is one situation where I don't think praying will protect anyone. Just my opinion, no offence meant to anyone. Apparently there are going to be a lot of announcements about cancellation of events etc tomorrow. My sil had a talk with someone who works in an MP's office. I really hope all here have made or are making preparations. I also hope I can still get the groceries and meds I'll need on Tuesday, with my support worker. I shopped 2 weeks ago and wasn't really taking it too seriously at that stage. It seems like it might not be long before even 1:1 supports are not possible. I read a long article today about developments so far internationally and how different countries are responding and how to 'flatten the curve' so that our hospitals can cope. It's long but I think it's the most detailed and reliable information I've seen so far. I'll see if I can link it here ... https://medium.com/@tomaspueyo/coronavirus-act-today-or-people-will-die-f4d3d9cd99ca I am not suggesting anyone panic, just get prepared please.

Thanks for your kind words @Former-Member I always think about you when you're not here.

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