FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

24,501 - 24,510 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

it's a secret society these days @Adge cut cut off for a couple days last year, took 10 weeks and 10 visits min to get back on there, was told something different everytime went there, it was deliberate action to stop me from getting benefits

yeah I did ask re disablity providers can't remember what I was told, was about to go and ask what had happened to that, well def going now.

Rookie error not getting receipt for med doc upload last wed, maybe I forgot, wouldnt be the first time they have 'lost' docs tho, eventually managed to get it onto the system after multiple attempts this morning with it repeatedly not working

then of course its some made up public holiday

it's getting so need an agent of some description to deal with them.

hae never had anyone explain how this 'mutual obligation' works, they invented it when I was working last year, didnt realise this catch 22 that is Win/Win for them was still in effect

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Think the Mutual obligation thing has been around a lot longer than that. @TAB Sorry they mucked you around so much.

@TAB

Loved the convo re spare parts and old birds lol

with @Adge

Hey @eth

@Mazarita and @Bunniekins choosing dress for the day ha ha

I have a support worker who is dying to get into my wardrobe to throw things out .... cos ... throwing things out is seen in some circles as a good thing to do ... for me its just wasteful. I am wearing green skirt I bought new over 10 years ago and brown shirt bought at opshop. I do NOT want to throw stuff out. It took too long to collect it all ... and I like the effect of this goes with that .... I hate trying on new clothes cos of my neck ... and then working out some sort of outfit ... I like being able to joke about having a big wardrobe ... after what I ave been through ... I am probably being a bit ironic ... but that seems wasted ... on those who have too much.

@ethfinding ways to field light and impersonal social convos is def an artform.

I have been away from the forum for a whole week. It is the first time in four years that I have been away so long ... trying to wean myself off from dependence ... to it being more os a social thing with friends ...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I am sure the concept has been around for years @Appleblossom think they are assuming I always have work lined up and ready to go and able to do it ? so, somehow my 'obligation' is to have worked 30 hours at drop of hat with unknown employer who falls from sky anytime there is a lapse in sick certificates. Makes sense.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Der not good when unwell to have extra stress re jobs @TAB BO ...

I had first hand experience of dumb Clink lady being horrid to me ... and I worry that my son putting out he can work will put him at a disadvantage as he is already studying full time .... YAY .... First time he has studied fulltime since end of Year 7 over 10 years ago ...hope it lasts ... but it has good omens so not good to doubt ... at this stage ... ( still it meant in the intervening 10 years while the ed dept was not doing its job ... mum did it) ...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

yes, I was told what for at least once my local c link mgr with completely wrong info of course anyway sick of trying not to get tripped up by them. @Appleblossom hop thing s work out for your son

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Me too @TAB fingers crossed plus lots of follow up ...

Good you are still around ....

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

ha yeah somehow, just made another drs appt feeling a bit crap this afternoon think need proper check up @Appleblossom well hope his study goes okay

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

After a certain age we all need those check ups @TAB Good thing they know more about how bodies work ...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

yeah blood pressure yet again can feel it am sick of it, never been given meds used to be able to manage it @Appleblossom plus heart, circulation ha ha but yeah just get to work lol

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yeah @TAB

You are used to be so physical so probably push through a lot where your poor ole Bp is struggling.

Meds are always personal decision ... I went off bp pressure meds for about 7 years. Am glad I did, but warned not to push it by new doc.

24,501 - 24,510 of 27,230