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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Ha yeah $3 /jar coles original @Adge lol is that a lemur ?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes it's a Lemur @TAB They often seem to have Eyes like that (regardless of coffee)....

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Looks like Mort from King Julien when hes in a state lol @Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

A long post I wrote and posted here has gone missing. There were messages in it for several of you. Boo to that. Here's a new one...

@eth, glad you are back. How was your travelling?

Hi @Bunniekins. I love your new avatar. It makes me smile to look at it. 🙂

I love yours too, @Maggie. It's beautiful.

@Adge, sorry to hear you are feeling extra unwell with the lurgie. Hope it passes quickly. I am having dental problems too, including broken back teeth. In my case it's old amalgum fillings breaking off. So far they have all been replacable, with the bonus of less amalgum in the mouth. It is alarming though. May you get the dental care you need.

@outlander, good to see you around. I wonder how life is going for you. Curious to know what you are up to now.

@Former-Member, feeling for you with the health problems, and the fears for the future they can bring. I know the feeling. Fingers crossed for back pain passing again quickly.

Hi @MDT, I think your avatar is Jeff Bridges in The Big Lebowski. Excellent film and funny.

@Appleblossom, good to be out and about. I mostly like public transport interractions. But there was one today that hit on a fear I have of being judged a bludger because I am a pensioner. He wasn't outright rude, in fact friendly. But his questioning about work bugged me, and kept replaying in my head. Other encounters with people during my afternoon out today were good or okay. About the crazy world you mentioned, I'm avoiding the TV news again but still reading headlines online.

@Shaz51, glad to hear your mum is back home after treatment for her fall. May she heal well. Hugs for you too, scotirish sister.

Hi to @Former-Member, @Meowmy, @NNY, and anyone reading. Good things to all.

My current rave:

Had a brain scan MRI today. Went fine, though I don't get results for a month. When spending time in those MRI machines, I kind of meditate and luckily find it fairly easy to get through. I know some people find them difficult. A fair number of medical appointments over the past six weeks, for doctors, specialists, and having different tests. I'm grateful to be getting good medical treatment, and the appointments are getting me out of the flat more, walking short distances, and interracting with various people.

Visiting my close friend very often again now, and enjoying each other's company, as we do. Last year, with all the creative work I had to do, we saw each other a lot less than usual.

The work really demanded almost all my energy over the entire of last year. I really did almost nothing else but that. Workaholic. Especially in the second half of the year, it wore me down so much, and by the time I was due to travel I felt depressed and worn out. My physical and mental health had really declined to the point I wished the whole thing had never come up.

That changed on the first stop overseas. I did so much better over there and enjoyed it more than I could possibly have imagined. But then the big crash immediately on my return. Still trying to slowly walk out of that. Making some slow progress, I think.

Finished another video. It was a hard one to make, pushing myself to do it in bursts over the past three to four weeks, worrying about it and feeling disheartened a lot. Relieved I don't have to angst over it anymore, and the result is satisfying to me and collaborators. With any luck, some other people will like it too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Mazarita @Zoe7 made me a collection of outfits to wear check this one out:Dxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@BunniekinsG g g g g orgeous gggirrrl

@NNYHello not sure we have met before.

@TAB @Adge

Cute monkee ...Weird collection of tools on the wall ...

@Mazarita

You have been Living Life to the Full.

You said it in your post... you can be a work aholic ... finding those balances bwtween business and rest is a work in progress ...

Yes the bludger issue bothered and bothers me. I manage it differently depending on how I feel.

Not all jobs are the same ... some prop up problems ... some do harm ... in my opinion anyway. We can only do our best.

At the moment I am working hardest on my physio exercises ... and garden ... dealing with things as they come

I am glad you are Looking after yourself and getting tests ...

Hugs.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Appleblossom

Maybe, I used to be on a few forums on Facebook until I was denied access to my account there because I never use my real name on the internet.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom Hey beautiful :Dxxxx!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita it's still so wonderful to see you here again. Love your dragonfly. To me they represent transformation as once they emerge from water they never go back in. They always give me a little hope.

Frustrating when a long post disappears, hearing you there.

Good to hear you feel you are getting good medical treatment (hope you get some good results and helpful treatment) and getting out a bit more, even if it's for essentials mostly. And making some mh progress albeit gradually.

Are you still living close to the beach? And with your long-time companion friend? Nice to hear you still have a good relationship with the close friend you visit.

Re the work question all new people ask - I think people should word it differently, e.g. "what interests you?" rather than the usual "Hi How are you What do you do?" I went through a phase where I would just say "I do lunch!", but these days I tell them I do some writing, sometimes live reading at the art gallery, and am training with the local community disability alliance to do peer support work. All true. If it's appropriate I might mention 'being involved' on the SANE forums. In reality I really only write a story approx one a month, have done 2 days training in the last 6 months and have another 2 happening in March, and come on here most days!!! i.e. not saying how much of the time I actually spend on those things or that none of it is paid work. Really none of most people's business. I'm over feeling like I'm not good enough because I no longer have a career as such. My writing and involvement with the disability alliance are helping me have a sense of worth to the world again. They've told me they're tapping me on the shoulder to facillitate workshops and presentations in the future. I think with some training I'll be able to do a decent job of that, and possibly it will turn into some part-time paid work.

Hi also to @Appleblossom @Bunniekins @Former-Member @MDT @TAB @Adge @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @Maggie @outlander @Meowmy @Exoplanet @Angels333 @Faith-and-Hope @frog @Teej @The-red-centaur @NNY (we've not met so welcome) and @Former-Member @Former-Member @Former-Member and anyone else reading this post. @CheerBear @Faith-and-Hope I've been thinking of you both too. Hope you've all had better days today. My notifications are now working so I should be able to start replying individually soon.

Feeling for you @Adge with the teeth problems. The last several of mine were broken at the roots in a dv assault 11 years ago and gradually all became so loose they were all removed over the next 3-4 years. I now have full dentures and recall vividly the day the last 3 were taken feeling such relief that I would never have to go through it again. Happy for you that you are able to have yours repaired at this stage, tho' it must get expensive for you.

@Former-Member hope your back pain is diminishing.

@Shaz51 very sorry to hear your mum had a fall. What a worry. And sounds like your own health is acting up atm too. Sending best wishes.

My trip was really good. Spent the first three nights in a huge beach-side resort with 15 other women celebrating my close friend's 60th birthday. A really great bunch of people, mostly still working - quite a few psych nurses which was funny for me (that's what her career was). I decided to be candid about having experiences 'on the other side' of that world. I made one new friend in particular who's a textile artist and art teacher for disability groups. I feel we will stay in contact.

Also shared the room with another old friend I've known since 6 years old in PNG. Who I hadn't been with in person for 20 years, tho' we have hours long phone calls regularly over the last few years. We know each other's history intimately and had long, deep conversations that got a bit too intense for me at times. I felt I needed to have boundaries a bit and ground myself in the present now and then.

The weather was so wild that the beach was closed so we did spontaneous drawing lessons with the artist I mentioned on 2 mornings - mandalas one morning and portraits the next. And I taught some tai chi to a group of them one afternoon. Other than that lots of group meals and the odd glass of wine or 3! The actual birthday party was fabulous - we had a very long table with 20 or so people - 1 man in the whole group but he seemed to fit in comfortably. In the best restaurant at the resort. I can't know how many bottles of wine we went through that evening, but the conversation was well lubricated and flowed easily. It felt really good to be included and I found it easier than I had anticipated.

After that I spent a week with my sister in the city and caught up with a couple of good friends at her cafe. Lots of quiet time while she was at work but some nice afternoons, a day up the coast, and a trip to the art gallery with mum one afternoon and thai dinner with her another night. That was a bit of a challenge at times. I swear she (Mum) thinks I have brain damage from when I tried to check out over 20 years ago and at times treats me like I'm about 12 years old. Also she likes to think of herself as eccentric but really she's quite odd at times. Plus a very vocal fundamental christian and member of the Franciscan Order. I could rant about her but can't be bothered. She triggers me easily and doesn't get that, tho' I've told her, or understand why I don't stay at her place.

And throughout the whole trip I was adjusting to a new sleep med - that was a challenge at times because when I'm socialising in the evening I take my meds a bit later and then they still affect me in the morning some days. Embarassing at times.

Overall an excellent holiday, my 2nd one since Christmas! I'll be staying at home for quite a while to catch up financially.

That's enough of a rave for today. Hope all are doing ok and finding some happy moments amongst the challenges. Take care all xx

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