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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@octavia That’s really hard. I’m really sorry you are all going through hell.

You sound beyond tired. Sending some ❤️❤️❤️

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

sending you lots of hugs @octavia and sitting with you xx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi everyone,

Really struggling tonight with consistent feelings of inadequacy. I'm disappointed in myself and feel like I'm failing at everything in my life. I don't think I'm being a good partner, a good parent, a good friend, or a good teacher (primary school).

It's been building for a while. I'm spreading myself too thin and not looking after myself. Don't know how to pull myself back out again.

Just reaching out because I know so many people here get it.

@Shaz51 @Appleblossom @eth @Teej @ anyone else who can help ❤️

Love to you all

Lesmall x

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

what has happened my friend @Lesmall xxx

here for you
@Mazarita , @Maggie , @octavia , @Appleblossom , @eth , @Faith-and-Hope , @CheerBear

@Lesmall , have you being able to do some seflcare for you tonight my friend

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Shaz51
I suppose nothing has happened, I'm just not doing a good job with life. It's been an intense week - between my kids (growing and hormonal and full on!), my work (new students at school, big expectations I place on myself, feeling inadequate and ineffectual) and I just feel like I'm letting my head get to me too much. I've not been present enough in my life. I'm going through the motions of being well, but I don't know that I am at the moment. I'm not prioritising myself in my life, and those dark feelings are beginning to creep back in. I can't help but wonder if those closest to me might just benefit by my absence?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Lesmall , I hear you my friend

sometime when things get soo busy we start to wonder if we are any good

but you are doing great

I rememberwhen my 4 step children were young , I went through a lot of overthinking and with my husband having bipolar 11 and other diagnosis

how is everything at home now xx

can you have a cuppa and take big breaths

I am sitting with you xoxo

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Just had a shower, washed my hair, and have put my feet up. Kids are finally in bed! Just feeling distant from my partner. She knows I'm not ok. She's doing all the right things. She's amazing and I'm so lucky to have her. I feel disappointed in myself that I can't let her in right now. I have no words for how I'm feeling.
My only way of communicating is to tell her it's "noisy" and she knows that's code for dissociation, voices in my head, and generally not being ok.
I'm feeling a little better, but still fragile. Thank you for being here @Shaz51 x

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

In the wee hours. Wondering if @Bunniekins is around by any chance.

@eth, you have made even more progress than I realised since I took the break in the first half of last year. How great that you are finding rewarding feelings of friendship in RL with the women in your writer's group. You more than deserve feelings of self-worth and confidence. The peer support training is fantastic. Wonderful to be chatting again with you, even though I know you will be away now until 22 Feb. I hope your holiday is awesome. ❤️ ❤️ 🙂

I'm taking it slowly moving back onto the forum at this time, playing it by ear with the low energy, depression and anxiety I have been experiencing since returning from overseas. I'm spending long chunks of my days in my armchair unable to muster my usual flowing creative energy (actually kind of dreading doing anything along those lines). The one really good thing is that, while sitting floppily in that chair, I am learning Spanish on a mobile app called DuoLingo. It's actually fun and well designed to teach the language in a fairly easy way, at your own pace. Also keeping up my daily gratitude statment on the 'Presently' app, and finding that a lovely thing to do. It's usually just one spontaneous line, which I like reading back on later, reminding myself of the good things. Even if they are little, they add up to a better picture than my dark mind has been seeing lately.

@Shaz51, you are beautiful. I am grateful that you have kept tagging me while I've been away for a long time. You did it when I was away for several months a few year's ago as well. A faithful friend you are to so many of us here. Love to you, scotirish sister. oxox

@Adge, enjoying the memes you are posting, many giving me a chuckle as they go by on these pages. Hope your health struggles have eased a little or a lot since I was here last year.

@Appleblossom, wonderful that you are singing at the bushfire benefit. Good to hear your intention to improve health habits. Better posture is a good idea. It's ridiculous how I slouch over and peer into the screen of my desktop at times. Glad your sleep has improved too. I'm doing quite a lot of it at the moment, about 10-12 hours a day. Went to bed at 9.30pm last night, and that hasn't been all that unusual lately, mainly because I am generally very tired and have mostly not been up for late nights on the computer. Tonight is an exception but feels good, at least I've found some energy for writing. I understand your impulse to spend less time on the forum too. Feeling my way with that at the moment.

My heart seems to be okay, despite all the palpitations. I got the results on Tuesday of the 24 hour heart monitor test. Turns out the palpitations are not exactly that, but rather ectopic beats. I think that means there's an extra beat in there. We all have them apparently. It may be stress that has increased mine so much over recent months, but they are generally thought to be a benign condition in almost all cases, even when there are a fair number of them every day. The main thing that's been worrying me is the dizzy spells with the blood pounding in my ears, pretty intense and worrying. Having a head MRI next week, but don't see the neurologist for results of that until mid-March. At the moment it doesn't seem to be getting much worse, so hoping all will be okay until then. Being very gentle with myself physically just now.

@octavia, sending kind wishes for you and your son. May the treatment be helpful to him and your worry lessened.

@Exoplanet, just saw your lovely photos of your trip and read your story about it. What a fantastic, lush place. Is it far from where you are living? If it's fairly close, seems like you might have finally got some rain out there. I have been thinking of you in the heat and drought, and hoping the rain was making it to where you are. We've had so much of it over the past 10 days here. Parts of the coast where I am are flooding. Wondering how you found the holiday place again (after 30 years of being away from it). I love that the social encounters you had there were so good, and that you felt at home there. Guessing you'll be going back again sometime. 6 nights there, outstanding. Love to you. ❤️ ❤️ 🙂

Hi to @Former-Member, @Angels333, @CheerBear, @Maggie, @outlander, @MDT, @Zoe7, @Lesmall, and anyone I've missed, may Friday be one of the good days for you.

Maz

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Oh Mazzy :D:D:D I cannot tell you how much I missed you and how fantastic it is to have you back xxxx are you okish?xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thank you my dear friend, @Bunniekins. That means a lot, especially in my generally fragile state. How have you been. Any changes in your life in the past number of months? ❤️ ❤️ ox

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