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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @outlander - hi to you and also to @Adge @TAB @Maggie @MDT and anyone else dropping in here today.

A day at home for me and nothing planned except cooking tonight for the clan. Just thawed out some caponata from Christmas - Italian eggplant stew but with some interesting ingredients like capers and orange zest - and only need to cook some brown rice and chuck some rocket beside it with balsamic dressing. Should be easy and yum.

Interesting session with my psychologist again yesterday. Talked a lot about the steps between being 'damaged goods' due to past traumas and learning to be with someone new, trust, seeing red flags, being authentic including disclosure about my past etc. I've realised I am ready to at least think about moving forward. No-one on the horizon atm but a couple of friends I have minor crushes on, and I'd like to imagine I could share my life again somewhere down the track. @CheerBear @Maggie @Adge maybe you have some advice for me in this area? I'm sure there are others I could tag here, but not sure who.

Have a good day everyone xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth I don’t have any advice or experience other than to trust yourself. You’ve come a long way, and know if/when you are ready to move into another relationship. Risky, tricky and rewarding I expect.

I wish you all the best. You can do this. ❤️💛💙💜💚 Dropdown off illegal rainbows, @CheerBear left some on my thread earlier.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Maggie I don't know that I do trust myself after all the mistakes I've made, but I guess I won't know until I try. Wishing there were a way to dip my toes in the water without actually swimming.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

how about this @eth just go on dating app maybe, but with boundaries and for a look ? or sign up for a course eg, so always other people there, and people who do courses prob havent just got out of jail etc soz lol

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@TAB there's just no way I'll ever do the online dating thing. Lots of issues for me with that, but also just very old-school.

I'm meeting quite a lot of people thru' the disability alliance I've joined. And some through doing the live readings and writing group. Might be ready for a course next semester tho'. Not sure at this stage.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

just a thought @eth okay a bad one

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Not a bad one and no dramas @TAB . Different strokes for different folks, that's all.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

yeah am too old for that myself @eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thinking of you today @eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You too @Exoplanet Thanks xx

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