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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning all!

@Hamsolo01 @Shaz51 @TAB @Bimby2 @greenpea @Zoe7 @BabyDragon @outlander @Appleblossom @Adge @Maggie @Sherry @cutiepiekitty @octavia @BlueBay @saturnzoon @Exoplanet @CheerBear @Maxi7 @Sophia1 @frog @Dec @Darcy @Sans911 @Snowie @Faith-and-Hope @Teej @The-red-centaur @eudemonism @Molliex @Scarecrowe @Ant7 @boot @Meowmy @Alone @Gazza75 @Dadcaringalone @SleepyDad @Doglover @Queenie @Jacques @Smc @Angels333 @Judi9877 @Barenbroken2019 @soul11 @LadyleahRDBloom @TheVorticon @utopia @oceangirl @Hope4me @Kurra @PeppiPatty @Razzle @Scoo @Sophie1 @KB23 @Negi @Lee3 @Saff @Spirit77 @Tropicalrose @SS47 @lio @waterlover tagging everyone I can just to let you know this is the thread where you'll most likely find me if you ever want to chat about what's going on for you or just say hi.

Shout out to @Mazarita too - think of you often and hope your project/work is going really well and that you are in good health too. Of course I miss you deeply but admire your strength and comitment to what you're working on, both externally and internally. Take care lovely xx

Another day at home for me ahead of a busy 5 days so I'm drawing in deep breaths in preparation. Mostly caught up on all the jobs that were waiting for me when I returned from my holiday. This week I'll have my water tai chi class twice, my psychologist, the womens and mental health groups at the disability alliance, shopping, meeting with my peer mentor, probably my writing group - support workers for a few hours tues - fri, using a shebah to go somewhere independently ... and who knows what else might come up unexpectedly? I keep reminding myself that a good number of these comitments are by choice; want to's rather than have to's. I really want to get into a routine this year and feel like I'm doing well to do what I do, not struggling to cope with it all. My driving lessons (with a mental health occupational therapist) will start again in Feb too.

Something else to look forward to is going north for my bestie's 60th birthday on Feb 11 - 3 nights in a resort!! With around 15 of her friends I've not met yet, who are bound to be very interesting and friendly people. And when I told my sister I was doing that she said "if you're coming north again you can spend a bl00d7 week with me!!) - so I will do that too. So I'm away again from 11th to 21st Feb. Feels so indulgent having 2 holidays within 2 months, and my savings have taken a hit, but it feels worth it.

While with my sister we will have an outing with Mum - only the 2nd time they've seen each other since November 2018 - so that should be interesting (!?). Mum said something dreadful to my sister, who had been her nearest and frequent helper for many years, and my sister said she was done with Mum, so this is an important step towards possible reconciliation. Mum will be 80 this year and we expect her needs will increase before too much longer. Bro is planting seeds to encourage her to move to where we live, but she's determined to stay where she is until she can't anymore and then move south and live with my neice. I agree with bro that there are other more appropriate situations possible - our neice is in her early 30s with a young child and shouldn't have to take on Mum's care as well.

So that's my rave for today. Hope this finds all well and starting the day gently.

Please tag me into your threads if you want to. I will always try to respond when tagged and possibly miss your posts if not tagged. Take care all xx

PS I just discovered that I hadn't reset all my preferences, so have just received a weekly digest of all the posts I was tagged in since returning.... so I'm very sorry if I haven't replied in a timely fashion. Will go thru' them now.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member @Former-Member @s-jay I've just checked my settings and definitely have them set to notify me immediately when I'm @ tagged. For some reason I am still getting the weekly digest that I set it for while I was away. Which means a whole bunch of tags I didn't see since returning last Tuesday. Any ideas why this has happened? Thanks.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi and welcome to the forums @TheGreatestStar . I'm tagging you here in case you'd like to join in. It's a social thread where it's also ok to rave about anything and everything (well, within forum guidelines of course). I'll try to reply to your post now - only just saw it because my settings have been changed while I was on holidays.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey there @eth I know it's super frustrating, we are still working with the tech team about the ongoing notification issues which you can read about here. We appreciate your patience whilst it's taking a while to resolve

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth That’s a busy week ahead. Going by your commitments, you seem to be doing well. 👍👍👍

I hope this year is good to you in many ways. Your holiday in February is starting off well. I hope you enjoy your bfs birthday.

Its good to have you back on the forums. 💙💙

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I Love this Quote - could apply to Princesses too, in which case mine is Riding a Turtle....

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yep, this one applies to Me a Lot....

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Lol @Adge usually remember it all at 3am! Hope today is a good one for you.

Hi and thanks @Maggie good to see you too. Hope life is going ok for you. Tag me if you want to if you have another thread you're posting on. I'm still catching up with folk since returning.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Me too @Adge 👍👍👍

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

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