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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

treacle sounds horrible @Former-Member hope it eases off. thanks for tagging me

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @octavia

That sounds terrible - I really don't know your story so I don't know about your son but there is no need for you to put up with that

I take it he is an adult and possibly has some kind of MI but there is only one way to deal with that and to keep yourself safe and that is Tough Love. Do you know what that is? - it means that you let the person know you love them but refuse to put up with their rage - after all - he might have trouble controlling his emotions but his behaviour is a different matter

So - for now - don't keep trying - it doesn't seem to be getting anyway and sounds really bad - and I am sorry to hear it

Dec

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Shaz51 and wish you
a pleasant day. Take care. Bimby2.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Shaz51 @TAB @Former-Member @Appleblossom @Bimby2 @Owlunar @octavia and anyone else passing here today. Wishing you a peaceful one.

@Appleblossom when I have a good team of regular, trusted and reliable support workers and a good coordinator of supports and the plan manager who's been excellent since day one things go smoothly for months at a time and I make good progress on my goals. 2 out of 3 at the moment. But looks like I'll be meeting at least 3 potential new team sw's this week so hopefully won't have to do much paperwork etc once I choose who's coming on board. So yes it can keep you busy at different periods of time, but overall it's worth persevering jumping through their hoops if you possibly can. I've made heaps of progress since first getting NDIS funding. I wish the same for you. Also I have a 2 year plan this time so won't have to go through the whole review prep and process next year. Not until mid 2021.

Hi @octavia I'm so sorry to hear your son has deteriorated and abused you again. I tend to agree with @Owlunar that the best thing you can do is stand strong and step back, telling him that you are there for him when he is ready but you will not accept being abused. He knows how to contact you once he has settled down again. Hopefully adjusted meds will make this possible. I'd be making sure the hospital staff know he is being abusive. Best of luck getting onto the doctors and his psychiatrist today.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @eth and may your week
be a pleasant one. All good wishes.
Bimby2.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Well said @eth

Tough Love is tough work - but we do not deserve abuse

Dec

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for the tag yesterday, sorry I haven't been around @eth . I hope you're having a good Monday 💜🌻💜

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hello and tender hugs @Molliex , @Mazarita , @Owlunar , @Bimby2 , @eth

I have a few texts from a couple of children i looked after that were in that hail storm yeaterday xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hello and tender hugs my @Bimby2 , how are you today xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi and good morning @Shaz51 @Molliex @Owlunar @Bimby2 and anyone else passing by here today. Hope the day is starting gently and all are well today.

@Shaz51 I heard the hail was really big in some places. Hope the kids you heard from didn't have too much damage. That birthday party sounds like it was a real challenge. Good on you for making it happen xx

Today I have my 3rd driving lesson and will take my support worker with me. I feel she keeps me a bit more grounded when I'm really anxious, as I am about driving. Both the lessons I've had ended with the instructor putting me on a major road to come home. So I'm expecting he will once again throw a major challenge at me at the end of the lesson.

After that I have my water tai chi class and then another phone interview with a potential new support worker. Looking forward to the time (soon I hope) where I will be able to get into a routine again and develop rapport and trust with whoever I choose.

Take care all.

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