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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Adge sorry to hear this week has been such a difficult one for you. So many things to deal with all at once. Can you block the person's number on your phone? It must be awful hearing from them.

Sorry to hear you've been thru something similar @octavia

There's a pedo in my family too, who was grooming my 10 yr old child at one stage. We got away just in time I think. My mother defended him (he's her step-son) so I had no contact with her for about 15 years.

I was also assaulted at age 10. So I think I can understand what you both feel.

Some things change us forever.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@octavia sorry I've been busy and didn't reply sooner. It's really hard to get any communication with hospital staff if you are not listed as the person's next of kin (which I imagine might be your step-son's mother). Hospitals are pretty strict and unreasonable with this rule. I've had a few experiences where I was the only one able to visit someone but they wouldn't talk to me and n.o.k. was interstate and not supportive. I wish I had advice for you, can hear the frustration in your situation.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth it's not that. his parents have been screaming for a call back. still nothing like

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

that's dreadful @octavia

The only thing I can think of is to ask the nurses when the doctors do their rounds and to be there at that time to catch them. It sucks that they are making it so difficult. My family had a similar experience most times I was in hospital. So frustrating for all involved. I wish I could help more.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

The public system is like navigating a foreign city @octavia

I think it sounds like you know what he needs which is excellent.

Thats good. Once he is out of the facility you can look at your own ways of going about it.

Why is he in the facility? On his own volition?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

yeah. he had a psychotic episode. had to call ambulance and police to take him. they let him out, but he took himself back the next day

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Well at least he is getting help he needs @octavia

(cool name btw)

Just give it time maybe

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth @MDT we can't get him transferred until the doc rings my son's psychiatrist. it's been 2 weeks now. it's just so hard to see him go through it. there is so many illegal drugs going in there, people stealing stuff, it's like the lunatics are running place. there's no doctor at anytime to call or see when your there. where's the mental health care plan? where's progress? it literally is lock them up, throw away the key

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yeah i remember people smoking there @octavia

I guess th best thing you can do as his mum ix to reassure him and always be in contact.

I strongly suggest you start calling up the doctor. Just keep pushing them and eventually they will have to respond or act.

But at the same time remember that the system in australia is way better than it what it used to be and also what it is elsewhere around the world.

Btw can you get the regular psychiatrist to contact the hospital?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@MDT that's the legal part. he's not in the same region that his psychiatrist is. technically the doc from hospital has to contact the psychiatrist first, and then we make plans. it shouldn't be this hard. one battle after another

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