FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

23,221 - 23,230 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Reasonably ok thanks @Ant7 . How are you? How's your day going so far?

I lay in bed with my head going round and round some things I need to sort out this morning - anxiety - but also knowing I can't do anything about them til Monday. Haven't had that type of anxiety for quite a while. It's leveled out a bit now - listening to good music and moving around the forums connecting with people is definitely helping.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

this is great for me. sometimes I just need to get it all out, then I'm fine. thank you @eth

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eththanks for the welcome.

This is probably the kind of thread I need right now. Things are hard. I was diagnosed with Bipolar recently and began taking medication pretty much straight away (which hasn't been the nicest experience). But I'm fairly certain I've been mis-diagnosed. The psychiatrist I spoke to (who gave me the diagnosis - perhaps just a "working diagnosis" but she wasn't very clear about that or anything else) wasn't overly helpful and I've since been in contact with public mental health services in my state.

The suggestion from the public psychiatrist I've seen is that it's more likely that I have Borderline Personality Disorder. Both of these diagnoses (?) are hard to swallow. I have a 6 year old (and spend a lot of time and energy worrying about how my mental health affects her) and a long term partner who struggles with my mental health. We aren't in a great place and generally my life feels like a bit of a mess.

I have a lot of issues with my family and barely see/can't rely on them. Over the last few years I've lost most of my friends, so there's pretty much no support.

I have a psychologist who I see fortnightly, but she's only new and I have years of seeing different psych's and feeling like I'm not getting anywhere.

Thanks for letting me vent!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You're most welcome @octavia and @Woyapp

@Woyapp I hear you about being in a difficult place right now. Getting a diagnosis can be really confronting and especially if you get different ones from different psychologists or psychiatrists. I have bipolar 1 and complex PTSD but was also diagnosed borderline personality disorder many years ago. In my case I'm sure they've finally got it right, but it took until I was 46 (now 56) to reach the correct diagnosis. I don't think of it as a label, rather a pointer to research more about. Getting the meds right can take some time too, and going through adjustments to being on them can be really difficult as it takes a while (sometimes a few weeks) to know if they're working the way they are meant to for you. I still had a child at home when I was going through the long journey to get to accurate diagnosis. You can only do the best you are able to at any given time, and forgive yourself for what happens because of your mental health. Hopefully your partner will be more understanding as you both learn more about what's going on for you and how to best manage it. For me it's a 3-fold approach that works - psychiatrist for meds, psychologist for therapy (doing EMDR at the moment and it's working really well for me, but CBT and just talking with her is helpful too), and self-management and maintaining 'insight' into where I'm at. Being able to recognise triggers, times when things are changing, and form strategies to deal with both has helped me enormously. Learning what self-care activities work best for calm and focus really helps too.

That's probably enough from me - bit of a rave - do take care.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Woyapp I get it. your head is spinning out of control, and that's ok. your taking the right steps to make u feel better. hang in there mate. there are sunny days ahead. in the meantime just take a moment to pause and be calm. find that inner peace for u. it's there, everyone has one, u just have to look for it. will be here to support u through it

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @eth

Hoping to try to relax today. Not slept well after the funeral yesterday

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@cutiepiekitty hope you have a restful day.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @eth
🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @MDT how are you today?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @eth and to everyone else here today. Hope your day is going well so far, if not blessings to you. Hang in their guys, it's tough but you are not alone................

I am returning to work tomorrow after 11 days off. My anxiety levels are starting to sky rocket, really not looking forward to it. Was hoping I would win set for life before I returned but sadly I didn't. Had a lovely peaceful time to myself, but sadly on Friday I got some bad news. An exworkmate and friend of mine was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer and it is really aggressive. They did think it had gone into the liver as well, but thankfully that is not the case. Chemo started on Friday. She is a wife, mother, grandmother.......just sucks!!! Just goes to show no matter how tough my days are, it is nothing to what my friend is about to go through...................................I send my blessings to her and her family.

I have had my little rave.....................do feel a little better.......still don't want to go to work tomorrow though lol.

23,221 - 23,230 of 27,230