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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Not a good day for me today as it's my daughter's birthday who lives in Newcastle, we were really close, but she couldn't handle her father and my eldest son treating her not nice and her father made her do everything.

@Owlunar @Mazarita @Former-Member @eth @outlander @CheerBear @BlueBay @Former-Member @outlander @frog @Gazza75 @Shaz51 @Meowmy @Ant7 @Smc @MDT @Maggie @Zoe7

@Molliex @TAB @Adge @Former-Member @Bunniekins @Angels333 @Bimby2 and all

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@saturnzoon

Thats sad u must really miss her

I always wanted a daughter so i could become friends with her cause my mum didnt become friends with me

Mother daughter relationship can b quite special

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sending warm wishes @Former-Member and @saturnzoon and want you both to know I'm thinking of you.

Too stirred up this evening to respond to others in depth. My day started and ended with major frustrations and a healthy dose of anger (a relatively recently re-discovered emotion for me). The early incident was a support worker telling me she wouldn't come until after my first appointment had to start - I was counting on her to get me there. Just another in a long list of stuff-ups by that organisation. They are meant to let me know before the day what's happening, and they didn't. Luckily I found another support worker who was able to come at very little notice.

The meeting I had was my first face to face with my peer mentor and that actually went really well. We talked for over an hour and have quite a bit of common ground. So that was the good part of the day.

Then this afternoon I have another organisation telling me I haven't signed a document they need when in fact I have, and have a photocopy of the signed agreement to prove it. They keep asking me to sign a new one electronically which I am not able to do. And to top it off I received the report from the occupational therapist who did the MH specific driving assessment (on and off-road) and he says I refused to have a manual assessment and has only recommended automatic lessons. I have a manual car....... insert many expletives here. I'll stop ranting now - not sure who to tag so I just won't. Nothing anyone can do about any of it at this time on a Friday.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth

Omg what a total messup!

Im glad u recognised it was justified anger tho as it is.

Organisations dont get how much these set people back.

Sometimes im just too stressed to know who to tag just know i need to write my frustration out to try & get it out of my head.

Doesnt it peev u off when all this happens on a Fri!!!!!

Its like a real tester to c if u can hold it together for 2 days.

I felt i had a lot of that sorting out the dva claims & dealing with so much paperwork & people.

My life is a little easier now with less people involved thank god.

Thats a mess with the car tho. That has to get sorted!

Try & hang in there til mon. Easier said than done if ur like me u like order & everything working to plan

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Spot on @Former-Member and it has to be a plan in advance too. I'm sick and tired of being stuffed around by so much that relates to NDIS one way or another. ( @Appleblossom @Bunniekins @Queenie @saturnzoon @CheerBear @Alone too p'd off to move this post to the NDIS thread). I'll be moving away from the support organisation that stuffed me around this morning for sure now, but have to do it in a strategic way (which I also hate). I prefer honest direct action. And just now I was outside thinking about the driving organisation and realised you know what - stuff it! I will assert my rights and ability to keep track of paperwork (which they clearly can't manage) and my right to have the correct service delivered re manual driving and if it all falls apart it'll be them that misses out on having me as a customer spending around $8000 just to get back on the road. It's so f'd up. It almost seems like a sign to withdraw my requests for support with both organisations before they can bill me up through the nose.

The whole thing about having NDIS funding is that it's supposed to give the recipient 'choice and control' - so I am going to exercise that policy. The only concern I really have if it all breaks down with the driving mob is that they also reported to Roads and Maritime (I'm in NSW) and they have the authority to have my licence cancelled. So the worst that can happen is I have to pay out of my own pocket for enough lessons to get it back. Will cost a whole lot less than what that mob wants out of my NDIS funds. It will eat into my emergency savings. I'm almost angry enough to just get in my car and drive!!!! I still have an open driving license.

There is also the possibility of asking my brother to recommence taking me for practice drives, which I will ask him about when he gets back from his latest trip.

Rant over temporarily!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth

Rant away.......

I hope u can sort the car mess out without having to pay out yourself tho.

Try & avoid that hey u need that emergency $ hey. Its a sense of security & relieves pressure

Just something to consider. U know ur own situation tho.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Owlunar

Well said!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Former-Member . Hanging out on the weekly Friday Feast thread for a while if you want to join in. Need to escape from all the dross (for want of a better word - I don't mean here I mean off-line) for a while. xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Hey eth I have been thinking of something to say but am lost for words .... I really have no idea on what to say. Except you have been really let down and frankly it isnt good enough.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth

Haha just got linked to the fri feast. Thought it funny.

Its setup for those that had a crappy week & need to spit it out.

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