FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

23,041 - 23,050 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I've just been asked to co-facilitate a womens group on the topic of Recognition and Recovery from Abuse. With only a few days to prepare. In person meeting later in the week. So I have to do some prep for that over the weekend. Really hoping I can do a decent job of it. But I will stress at the start of the meeting that I am talking as a person with lived experience, not any sort of expert. And that the session is for education, not therapy as such. Planning to spend the last part of the meeting going through self-care ideas to end on a more positive note. Anyone with any suggestions I'd appreciate your input.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth

Retirement villages will only put advert in their mnthly newsletter.

I cant seem to find any community notice boards.

Its harder cause im in a new town. & like someone else said bpd makes u struggle being around people.

Its taken me yrs to b out as much as i am.

Im ok when i teach tho

Ive just been a hermit for so many yrs its now comfort zone to protect myself from getting triggered off i think.

I should try osteopath places & physios tho that a good idea. Ive got a flyer in one place.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth We used to end each DBT session with a mindfullness exercise so maybe your could do the same. It used to really help us feel grounded - especially if it was a difficult session. Here is a simple breathing script as an example Mindful Breathing

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks heaps for that @Zoe7 It's an excellent idea.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You are most welcoome @eth I have several mindfulness scripts for kids but there are plenty online for all ages you can look up and download - it is really is a matter of fining one you are comfortable with yourself.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 Yes I've actually led groups in guided relaxation and visualization groups in the past. But still needed to be reminded!! One of the books I wish I'd kept from Darwin was a collection of such activities for adults and children. Had some really beautiful stuff in it. I culled so radically to move here into a one room cabin and it's mostly books that I miss the most out of all I let go of at the time. But you're right, you can get masses of that stuff online these days.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @eth

My goodness you have lot going on.

I am still dipping in and out of forum land due to various dramas but wanted to say a belated welcome back, comiserations on the very difficult and triggering situation next door, and congratulations on being invited to co-facilitate the womens group. It's a great thing to make a contribution in that way.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thankyou so much @frog and lovely to hear from you. Do you want to talk about the dramas you mention? I'm going out shortly but will be back later this afternoon. Take care and hoping you have a peaceful day.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I found (bought) some new Goldfinches @Former-Member @Shaz51 @eth @Zoe7

- to replace mine that tragically went, to weeks ago.

I had to sell my soul (only kidding) to get them.

Very sadly, still no Bengalese finches are available - there is a shortage, because no-one is breeding them (the bird lady said).

All the more sad, since my Bengalese were happily breeding, before I lost them all.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Great news @Adge so pleased for you 💙 Can you post a pic?

23,041 - 23,050 of 27,230