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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Last yr i was then on another meds & got thru it but really struggled with anxiety. --- @Former-Member , it is amazing to have the meds that helps my friend xx

So im going to take it easier this time.-- that is a good idea

my step D1 has to paste herself through her studes , she has inherited depression like her dad

maybe taking the studies step by step might help xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Shaz51

Yeah im determined to do it slowly as i need to cope with my other wk too.

Im just taking on a lot more this yr so ill have to pace myself thats all & learn to juggle everything.

I keep telling myself its just four subjects & if it takes me 6mnths to do then so be it.

Life is much easier after my move too so i should b ok.

In a much better living setup now. + my son walks to sch so i dont have to help out there anymore.

Im keeping everything in my diary so i keep track of where im supposed to be when. Lol

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

walking with you my friend @Former-Member

how is your son xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Shaz51

Hes happy had to get new comp just before hols & then his ph broke so a huge outlay recently but hes got all new toys now so hes happy.

Got all his homework done in hols.

Not once have i ever had to nag him. He just does it.

Well i guess i was like that.

So both will b studying this term.

Ill have to get him to take a day off sch to help me video some of my homework.

Ill have to get volunteers to help me with it too

Ill ask them at the pool

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

how old is your son @Former-Member

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Shaz51

16 yr 10. Raised him on my own since he was 3. His dad lives in another country

So its just us 2.

It was very hard when he was young but gotten easier as hes aged.

Mostly cause of being alone & judgemental people.

People always assumed cause i was alone i was bad or cause i had a mental illness then naturally he would b messed up.

Teachers in high sch have well assured me thats not the case tho

So its good now.

Ill miss him when he leaves tho.

Only person ive ever had in my life for awhile actually.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

well done my @Former-Member

I have four step children who are all adults now xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Shaz51

I was a late starter 40.

Are you alone, i sense not

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Shaz51

I couldnt cope with more than one

One has been good for me cause ive always been on my own.

I just attract men looking for sex.

They dont c me as a relationship. Not sure why that is.

Been a problem all my life.

I still block them when they approach me on fb.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

no now @Former-Member

I got married when i was 43 and now i am 55

i could not have any children of my own

was single until i was 43

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