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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom We all need people that will be in our corner and give us support Hon - so glad you have that with the conductor

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Adge Good on you for looking and sifting ... through net!

@Zoe7

I also had that with conductor in a chamber choir, but he moved on. I must be a bit slow in working out what is friendly and what is hostile. What i need to make excuses cos others are under stress, what I deserve, what is people "normally" bullying others, and what is acceptable ... all this takes a lot of figuring out for me. In the choirs I am in most people are highly professional, but a lot of bullying goes on.

I sent an email to CoS to try another company for peer worker. Care with Quality gets my goat when it is a fake euphemism.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning to all here @cutiepiekitty @Angels333 @Former-Member @outlander @Zoe7 @Appleblossom @Adge @saturnzoon I really hope that today is a better one for those that struggled yesterday. Lovely to see all the support happening here. Sorry I wasn't around but had 2 really busy days.

Very tired today so I won't reply individually but I'm sending my warmest wishes to those let down by the system lately. Unfair and unprofessional in each case. Be gentle with yourselves and take care xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom I fully understand that disappointment when a company professes one thing and the service they provide is the opposite. I am glad you are taking a proactive approach in asking for someone else

Having to 'work people out' is often hard - especially when we first meet them. It is not until we get to know them more that we can make those judgements on whether we can relate or engage ....or even if they align with our own values. Being a the choirs with so many different people from all walks of life would no doubt introduce some of those challenges and with all sections of society there will be those that wish to assert their authority and feel as though they are above others. These are the people that I do not have time for - treat everyone the same or I have no time for them. As with you I have to work with these type of people in many settings but staying true to your own values and beliefs is infact empowering - so follow your own path Apple and if it takes you time to 'work people out' then so be it - being resilient in the face of adversity is something I have seen you develop ...as has your confidence to stand up for yourself - so you are definitely making positive steps forward and that is great to witness

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth Spent about half an hour with the craft girls this morning then 4 hours packing blessing bags for girls. I had a teenager helping, and she is a bit scattered but works ok if you keep telling her what to do. We had 60 bags, 30 for each age group. I put her onto the older girls ones and handed her one thing at a time to go in all of them while I worked on the little girls ones. There were 2 others but we sent them to do all the running - getting extra toothbrushes and tissues for the bags and sorting craft stuff. A bit tired after it all but good tired.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

HI @eth Today is a better day for me, not quite so upset as yesterday. Think that it was just because of being let down by B and being told by the organisation no appt until Nov. Am hoping that I will get an sms to see her in just over a week when she is here next. That is what they usually do 2 days before an appt. Maybe the office got it wrong.

They said B would ring but she has not. At the stage where I am blaming the not nice female on the phone for it, because she said that both B and a manager would ring but neither have so I am blaming her for not telling them. I do not believe that both would be so inconsiderate as to have no contact if they were told how I was on the phone. I know I was upset and angry and told her so, but I have the right to be!

Am taking myself to the city to the show tomorrow, so will be a long day and I will not be around. I am hoping that I manage to cope with it. Should be able to. Have made a list of what I waant to do, there is a lot of free stuff. Think the break away from town may help me.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Here's another Cow joke (or Birdy joke) @Bunniekins (I don't know the Private Cow joke).

"A little birdy flying high,
dropped a message from the sky,
As i wiped it from my eye,
I thanked the lord that cows dont fly....."

Yes birds really have done that to me - all over the front of my white business shirt (once).

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Adge Hey Adge this is the 'the joke' re cows and @Sophia1 . My son2 loves cows and Sophia1 had cows close by to where she lived so she kindly took some photos of them for my son to look at. He was thrilled :). It was a very kind thing for her to do. :Dxx

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