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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm having a home day today too @Zoe7 and keeping it empty as possible as I have a hectic 3 days planned already for this week. Did do a few chores this morning so they aren't already built up before the week to come. Just chilling out now and will probably watch a bit of a series I'm enjoying at the moment. It's about L'fer, the fallen angel, (can't say his name on the forums!) and he's visiting this world and involved with a detective - they solve a crime in each ep. It's also quite funny.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I have a few things I have recorded that I can watch today too @eth so that should keep me occupied. Hoping to get a few more household chores out of the way this afternoon but not putting any pressure on myself to do them as a necessity. I am quite happy to continue resting for another day as I am feeling the effects of such a full on few weeks at work. Body and mind need a rest 👍

What are your plans for this week?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 tomorrow I have tai chi, optometrist, grocery shopping and a live reading event; Wednesday I have my psychologist and start with a podiatrist; Friday I have tai chi and some errands. Support workers on all 3 days. Then at some stage I need to fit in meeting with my peer mentor face to face for the first time - playing phone tag with her at the moment, and do a bridge revision so I can play with my partner over the weekend some time. Also hoping to go to the regional poetry slam finals on Friday night.

Also my adult child has just asked if they can come up for a few days next week with the 2 children (5 and 1). Have to ask my sil if this is ok for her tonight when she's home from work. It's short notice but it's fine with bro so far. They will sleep in the spare room in the main house and we'll need to use that kitchen for some things. Plus the dog will need wrangling - he's not good with small children. They don't understand not to get in his face well enough and it only takes a moment for things to happen. He has snapped at a few children and I just don't want to take any chances with that.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth

Thanks for the mention... sending wishes of well-being your way... and for everyone else ...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That is a busy couple of weeks @eth but good to have the support this week as well. Having adult child and kids there will be lovely for you. Children often want to hug and play with dogs and do not get that that often scares them and any scared dog is likely to lash out so good that you are aware and will put in place things to keep both dog and kids safe.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Already planning ahead in case they do come @Zoe7 I will have to get everything we'll need when I am with sw this week as I'll have to cancel my sw's for the time they are here. Adult child is on a 'low fod-map' diet due to intolerance of many foods and I'll need to plan all the meals they are here for. Coz I didn't have enough on this week already! I'm not complaining, it's just what I need to do. I always cope a lot better when I can plan things in advance.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth

Hi

Think word must have got to gym cause theyre being extra nice to me.

I have a guy in my class now yay. Ex army like me. Told gym staff & they were shocked. As i said u can never judge people by looking at them.

The point i was making is u cant tell by looking at someone if they have a mental illness.

Sooo many have said to me including psychologist & mental health nurses u dont look like u have a mental illness. Im not really sure what someone with a mental illness should look like but im guessing its mostly cause i exercise & look relatively fit for my age.

Bit sad that people r judging people tho by their look.

Anyway im glad a man feels comfortable in this class tho.

Itll b interesting to c what type people i attract to this community hall

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Former-Member good to hear your class is growing. I agree with you about invisible disabilities - there are many. Our society hasn't evolved enough to stop judging based on appearance, sadly. And then we have to deal with stigma as well when we do disclose to others. As much as I hate stigma, I disclose as rarely as possible. And it really upsets me when someone else does it about me without me choosing it. That's my dummy spit for the day!

Hope you are having a good day.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It will be good to get things organised early then @eth I am planning on doing all I need to do on Wednesday as that is pay day. I need to do shopping, chemist, pet shop, Bunnings and replace some plastic boxes with more sturdy ones for storing (a lot of lids broken where I have stacked them on top of each other and that is making them fall over as well as contents getting damaged). Also gardening to do and garage to clean up and sort out. Garage will need a few nice days in a row as I will need to move everything out, sort and then move back in.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good luck achieving your goals @Zoe7 . Hope the weather fines up for you.

I'm signing off for a while now - have a restful and pleasant day.

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