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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Bunniekins @Mazarita @MDT @Molliex and all visiting here. Thanks in advance for being here.

Right now, I’m struggling to sleep and have been up knitting for the past 2 hours knitting and trying to get my head around how the world - re vcat and in particular certain people- can be so unjust. Yesterday my housemate was in hospital with a bad medical condition that was on the verge of life threatening. My housemate sent through the relevant documents to vcat the day before requesting an adjournment to a residential hearing that the real estate agent and landlord had requested as said real estate agent was going for a possession order as they said my housemate was in rental arrears. My housemate wasn’t and in fact, said real estate agent was in fact lying in the rental ledger that was submitted to vcat yesterday that my housemate got hold of. I wasn’t able to attend the hearing as I’m not on the lease but even though my housemate was in hospital, vcat awarded the possession order as said real estate agent told the vcat member my housemate owed over 6 weeks rent which as I said wasn’t true as my housemate is up to date and has bank records to prove this. My housemate found out the result after calling later on yesterday and was able to get a ‘stay’ on the possession order due to being in hospital and dealing with the deputy registrar who lodged this request which meant that said estate agent can’t purchase the order to get it enacted until the case is reheard in vcat where she can hopefully get the order overturned - that is, if the vcat member finds my housemates reason legit that they were in hospital and then, the case will be heard with the evidence from my housemate to prove that said estate agent has lied about the money owed to get my housemate evicted from the property.

My rant is this. How can an estate agent be so cruel and blatantly lie on oath to vcat, knowing full well that my housemate didn’t owe any money yet submit a ledger to state otherwise? Said estate agent has had it in for my housemate since we moved in in May as my housemate is on Centrelink and has got something against these people stating to us ‘I hope you don’t trash the property’ and requesting fortnight payments because of being on Centrelink, even though this doesn’t have to occur under law where we live. Also, she has accused my housemate endless times of not putting the rent in when I know my housemate has yet the estate agent doesn’t believe this as my housemate didn’t send her a screenshot of the payment as proof, however, estate agent has never produced any rent receipts to my housemate. My housemate did get a ledger but only after consulting with legal people who got it on my housemates behalf which turned out to be wrong on the estate agents end. My housemate put a partial payment down on Tuesday yet said estate agent said she would not produce a new rent ledger until my housemate attended vcat yesterday and it could be handed over in person and only if the funds had cleared. My housemate found out through their bank that the money had cleared the day before (Wednesday) yet said estate agent submitted a rent ledger stating that it hadn’t cleared - another lie. My housemate told estate agent this late yesterday that it had cleared and later in the night, said estate agent produced a bank account receipt saying rent had gone in and had cleared Wednesday in a message to my housemate last night, long after the vcat hearing.

This real estate agent has threatened my housemate since they moved in and constantly lied about things which is why legal assistance was sought by my housemate. My housemate can’t believe that vcat wouldn’t take medical evidence into consideration as to why they couldn’t attend and even my doctor can’t believe this as they saw my housemate on Monday and sent them straight to hospital. Why would an estate agent lie and want to make someone homeless? All my housemate has done is told the estate agent that things need to be done according to the residential tenancies act under those laws yet said estate agent keeps on saying my housemate is lying and said estate agent says they are never wrong and never lie, which isn’t the truth. I can’t understand how some people can be so cruel and get a legal body to believe them to the point of getting people evicted based on lies and false information. I’m really struggling to get my head around this and don’t understand how this can happen. My housemate and I are good decent people who try to do the right thing with rental properties yet this estate agent is real trouble and this was shown yesterday in vcat.

I’m sorry to rant for so long but I needed to get it out and I’ve got no one to talk to. I’m sorry for being a burden but I’m hoping someone at least notices this and gives me acknowledgment so I don’t feel so alone. Thank you,

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins yes, I am glad I'm not going into hospital too. I was all anxious that he would threaten to schedule me. He almost scheduled me the last time I had a psychiatric episode, but I am under the opinion that hospital makes me worse, every time I have been hospitalized I have had acute psychiatric episodes in the hospital, I have had so many traumatic hospital experiences.

It does mean I have to work hard to stop the SH as an outpatient and progress will be slower.

And your support @Bunniekins means a lot.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Judi9877

It sounds like your flatmate has evidence to back up his/her position that the rent has been paid. Surely VCAT would take this into consideration???

The prejudice against people on centrelink is outrageous. Sorry to hear your flatmate is going through this.

How safe is your accommodation?

Keep us updated @Judi9877 .

And I hope you can get some sleep

Hugs (((💕💕)))

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Angels333 Hey Angels333 you will always have my support :)xx. Lolz nothing keeps me on the straight and narrow more than the threat of hospital. I just hate it there so I keep taking my medications like a good girl even though I hate them with a vengeance anything is better than being scheduled and being trapped inside that prison.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Judi9877 Hey Judi9877 don't apologize renting (I know only too well) can be very scary particularly when you are on centrelink payments like my family. I really don't know what to say other than I hear you and like you don't understand why people can be so cruel but again not really surprised. I just put it down to bullying and greed. Thinking of you today. Love peax

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Judi9877 you are not a burden and there is no need to apologise. We're here to listen.

That sounds like an incredibly stressful situation for you both. It's awful how some people automatically assume because you're on centrelink, you're a bad person, or somehow not worthy of respect. These people have never experienced financial hardship or something that has upheaved their life to this extent. They have no idea.

I can't offer any advice I'm afraid, because I've been lucky to never have experienced this sort of treatment. So I'm sending my support your way, and I hope things can be resolved somehow. 🌻🌻🌻

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Judi9877 , sorry that you and your house mate or going through all these dramas right now. Your definitely not a burden to anyone here. Your landlord sounds very cruel and uncaring, hopefully this will all come out in your favour as you have both done the right thing. I really hope your house mate is okay as you have mentioned how close you are previously. You are such a kind and caring person Judi. Take care of yourself. We are here for you 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Gazza75 @Molliex @Bunniekins and everyone here. Thanks for reading and responding to me- you have all helped me so much so a very big thank you☺️! The update is that my housemate called vcat this morning - very early when they opened despite my housemate still being in hospital- and found out that there is definitely a hold on the possession order until the case is reheard which will be between 7-10 business days. That means we’re safe from eviction for at least another week or 2 and that said real estate agent can’t purchase a warrant for possession order as real estate agent will get denied. So technically speaking, said agent may think that they have won the battle but they haven’t won the war as the saying goes. I did get 5 hours sleep so that’s good and it helped that I had my cat Mitzy with me so I wasn’t alone as such. Mitz is so cute and I love her dearly. I’m off out today to do some uni study possibly at the library or maybe a park, depending on the weather, as my housemate has been told that they won’t be out of hospital today- the weekend is a possibility depending how on how the condition goes.

Once again, thanks for all of your support! I’ll keep you posted on what happens!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

WOW @Judi9877 that sounds horrible! Hopefully you and your housemate can get this sorted out and something is done about the agent doing this. The court/tribunal should be impartial and look at everything. The stress can't be doing either of you any good. Maybr when it goes back they will let you go with your housemate if you feel up to it as support? And ensure she takes every piece of evidence she has, whether she thinks it is relevant or not.

Do not apologise for ranting here. That is what it is here for

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Just putting it out there,

Suicide call back service online chat is currently experiencing technical issues and is unavailable

@Former-Member

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