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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Zoe7 @Former-Member @Adge @Angels333 @Bunniekins and anyone else passing by here this morning. @Appleblossom @CheerBear @outlander @cutiepiekitty @saturnzoon @Queenie @Gazza75 @TAB @MDT @eudemonism @Faith-and-Hope @Molliex Having some much needed rain here overnight and now. A gentle, soaking rain. Our vege garden is lapping it up. Hope today is an improvement on yesterday for all of us. Warm wishes to anyone struggling at the moment.

Today I have water tai chi - I really missed it the last 2 weeks. Did it a couple of times (on land!) when with the kids - i thought it would be special to share it with my granddaughter but she didn't want to do it with me which was a disappointment. We did have some lovely times tho - making pancakes and a cake which we iced together, school drop offs and pick ups where I got to see what she's up to, watching chicks hatch in her latest school project, going to a rainbow families play group (S, husband and both kids), having a big outing to Maccas for lunch one day, and of course just observing how amazing the kids are, how much they've developed since I was there 10 months ago. Miss 5 is really into art and writing and takes herself to her desk (which I gave her) at any given moment, producing some amazing pictures that always tell a story. Little 11 month bub is so close to walking and talking I was sure it would happen while I was there but it didn't. they are standing unaided and copying so many sounds. One day when their nappy was particularly ripe I said 'oh shit' and needless to say that became a favourite sound to them, repeated frequently and always got a laugh which I guess reinforces them wanting to say it. I love them all so much, but there's no way i could live so far inland in such a cold place. My last morning there it was -2 and then back it home it only went down to 14.

Hope today is starting gently for all, take care xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Haha @eth
"oh shit" and the kids loved it. That made me laugh haha.

I do hope you have a nice day eth. It's raining here too today. Nice to wash away the dust.

Kids are hilarious. I have been watching old people's home for four year olds on ABC Tuesday nights. It's really good TV. Final episode tonight.

Enjoy your day and talk to you soon my friend 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes we all had a great laugh every time @MDT

Thinking of you today @Adge and hoping your bro has made some progress overnight. Hang in there friend xx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Adge
Some others here mentioned your brother. I do hope it is OK whatever it is that's going on mate

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

He had a severe burn accident @MDT .....

Thinking of you too @Adge a d wishing your brother well .... 💐

Quick hi everybody 👋💕

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You sound like such an amazing grandmother @eth! Grandmas are the best, just the most special people there are. My mum became a whole different person when she became a Nana. I've never seen her happier.

Hope you're doing well today 🌸🌺🌻

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @MDT Thanks for your well-wishes.

My brother is blind & intellectually disabled.

He caught himself on fire whilst cooking on Friday night.

He is in intensive care (burns unit) of a major hospital.

So far still unconscious - with feeder tube & airway tube.

He has had several skin graft operations in the past few days.

My brothers don't like him & they won't talk about it.

Poor fellow doesn't have good body coordination so he couldn't put fire out.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Faith-and-Hope hope things are beginning to settle for you.

thanks a lot @Molliex

hope today is gentle on both of you too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Gee wiz @Adge
Thats terrible. I do hope he gets treated well and they help him out at hospital.
This would be causing a lot of stress for you no doubt.
Thinking of you and your brother buddy. Family is so important.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

wow @eth it doesn't seem like 10 months ago that bub was born! that's gone so quickly! loved the story of swearing. kids are funny sometimes.
we've had some much needed rain too, its suppose to rain the next few days which im very glad about.
hope you enjoy your water tai chi today



hello everyone 👋
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