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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth and to all else who read *sorry I'm really lazy with tagging and mentioning because I'm so dam tired and achy because of the meds. Just the basic and standard survival procedures i go through each day are hard enough let alone extra craticula activities ... to earn bonus points ...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @BronH and @Tess58 @WillowMay @trickytrauma @booklover78 @FigBell0917 @Bear25 @NamasteToday @Harvey

@Zoe7 @Maggie @Doglover @Angels333 @Bunniekins @CheerBear @Faith-and-Hope @Adge @outlander @Appleblossom @Teej @Shaz51 @Exoplanet @MDT @eudemonism @Meowmy @Gazza75 @gensys @Serenity1 @Sophia1 @Molliex @frog @Queenie @saturnzoon @Former-Member @Everan @Sweet_cheeks

Gosh theres a heck of a lot of creative people here. Can tell by the names.

Im 55 survived a really hard life & slowly trying to make the last of my life easier. I recently sold up, packed everything my son & i own in my mazda3 & drove from melb inland to tville. We arrived in a unit with only blowup matresses & clothes basically. Was a very scary thing to do . i planned it for 6mnths. Researched what sch what subburb to live in what price unit to rent. Apart from my mental health totally cracking everything went pretty smoothly. A few hick ups but i worked thru them.guess my health cracking made me get help which was a painful journey. Trying to get a dr trying to get a psychiatrist psychologist. Trying different meds. Having med clashing finishing up hosp but i persisted til i got what felt right. Im working as a relief lollipop lady. By the way its a really good job if ur re entering the workforce after many yrs out like i was. Its little hrs & low stress + pays good & doesnt affect ur pension much. Im also teaching exercise twice a wk & hope to rent a hall soon to teach from as there arent many older adults in gyms. I walk regularly other than my resistance band workout. Will possibly switch to swimming once it gets too hot. Im also back doing theatre singing training & 3 mnths ago started to teach myself piano. Ill get a teacher for piano once it gets too hard. I feel too unsettled to have a teacher. Especially since ive taken on a new psychologist. Its hard being in a new town. I go to a meditation centre about 4x a wk in the hope of meeting more people. Once im more settled & feeling confident with singing i might audition to b in a musical. Im still lacking confidence in that area so ill wait til i feel ready. I lived in Melb for 8yrs & had a lot of battles like bad neighbour bad home owner gossip in gyms someone getting my car somehow regularly. I fought battle after battle living there. By the end everything was fine but i knew i needed a bettet future for my son & i so here we are now. I think im past the worst of feeling unsettled as i feel we both have a routine. Ive never been able to make friends easily. Partly cause im introverted but im hoping with time i slowly get to make friends here.

Thank you all for inviting me here.

Ill share my greatest fear & thats being able to provide for myself as i grow old. Im moved here so my son could afford to move out one day. So im trying to prepare myself for that day. Having him was the best thing i did. Hes been my best friend.

Must do piano now. Hope ur day is treating u well

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member Thank you for sharing your life story. You are such a positive strong lady, been through so much and fought hard. And now standing. I hope you will gradually get even better and live a wonderful life as you desire. Wish you health and happiness every day. I suffer a chronic MI which takes up a lot of time and energy to get through. I work almost full time and that needs a lot of energy and focus too, Otherwise I am single and forty nine and lives with eighty year old mother who needs assistance. Thanks again. Hope to talk later.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member sounds like you've got a few things going on that you're entertaining and trying to get on with . It's good to have goals and areas in which you connect to the community through . I say this because I've found remaining socially connected and active has always helped me . As for Dr, pyschologist and psychiatrist . Can totally relate to wanting and needing a good connections with these professionals . It's an area where I've let myself down due to trust issues and possible avoidant personality disorder . Plus living in rural area and appointments being few and far between or limited . + multiple leader type influences in my life having conflicting opinions about what is appropriate and inappropriate or what is right and what is wrong . I hope your MH situation settles down and you find what you're looking for whatever that maybe . Life is definitely a journey ...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

WTG (way to go !!!) @Former-Member ..... awesome working through struggles, problem solving and going after your goals ❣️ I am sorry it’s been a rough journey, but you’re takin’ strides Mumma 💐💕. You should be proud of yourself ..... woo-hoo.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlander I leave on Wednesday but probably won't be here Tuesday either. I don't do forums on my phone so will be absent until at least Saturday of the following week (14th).

I'm going to change my settings for while I'm away so that I don't get notifications which means I will probably not catch up on what I miss when I get back, just jump in when I can.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Former-Member it's great to get to know you better and to see the immediate support you've found here.

Hi @eudemonism hope you're feeling a bit better today

@Adge I'd call that bed hair!!

Nice to see you @Meowmy and @Faith-and-Hope

Take care all. Hope you're all having peaceful afternoons.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Hey eth, thanks for the message. Hope you are too having a good afternoon. It rained heavily here suddenly, so I didn’t go for walk. Just took down some washings and helping mum with her arthritis pains.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for the reminder @Meowmy I need to get my washing in too and do some more sorting and packing for my trip.

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