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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hi @Angels333
im sorry I missed your post yesterday.
How are you going?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Zoe7 and @Angels333 hope today is peaceful for you both.

Sending strength to both of you... Zoe7 for recovery from sickness, Angels333 for resisting urges.

I'm not sure about water tai chi today due to my cold. At the moment it's not too bad, will decide in a couple of hours. Have a support worker for 2 1/2 hours - will spend some time learning how to use a new app on my phone to confirm bookings with her and approve hours done so she can get paid while I'm away for the week before I go and the day I leave.

Also hoping to hear from my coordinator of supports about the possibility of MH specific driver training, which also requires a specific occupational therapist assessment. My plan manager has found a way it can be claimed from my NDIS package. Driving again after nearly 3 years would def change my life. But I'm already seeing it's not as simple as getting on the road again, it will mean being able to go alone to places and activities where at this stage I can only do it with the help of a support worker. Typical me - get some good news and then find a whole lot of consequential anxieties!

Good morning also to @Bunniekins @CheerBear @outlander @eudemonism @Doglover @Former-Member @Shaz51 @Gazza75 @Exoplanet @Adge @Teej @Appleblossom @Faith-and-Hope @Sophia1 @Maggie @Feldspar @Everan @gensys @Serenity1 @Former-Member @P12 @Judi9877 @cutiepiekitty @Macca00 and anyone else around this morning. Tagging a few newer people in case you want to join in here. This has evolved into kind of a social thread where it's also ok to rave about anything and everything and you will find a good mob of supportive folk here.

Hope today is starting gently for all. Take care.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

morning @eth @CheerBear @Bunniekins and all who pass through

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I didnt drive for 7yrs. I was having a baby so knew i just had to get back in & do it. Was really scary. Glad i lived in a relatively sm city. I had flashes accidents in front of me was weird. Must of been how i was processing fears. I just went out a little bit each day. Started with familiar places ti drive then expanded from there. Its great uv made a start with it. The journey will b great for u. Will open up ur life again. Taking it slow & processing the experience will b the trick. All the best with it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @outlander How are you this morning?

@Former-Member Thankyou for sharing that. Sounds like you are driving again these days. I am really scared of dissociating on the road as I had a couple of blackouts while driving - woke up doing 80 with traffic around me, a miracle that I hadn't crashed. Plus even when I'm a passenger I am really anxious about everyone else on the road, especially large things like buses and trucks. Where I lived when I was still driving was a small place where I was only going about 3 km to essentials like grocery store or doctor. Where I live now is a relatively big city and we live on a very busy road so it's hard to even get out of the driveway. And most of the things I go to are at least a few suburbs away. I can do the mechanics of driving but it's all the rest that goes with it.

Just a reminder that if you don't tag me I might not see your post. Thanks.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @eth @outlander @Zoe7 @Mazarita @Former-Member @CheerBear and everyone else here! I’m travelling okay although I feel a little stressed and a bit down at the moment. Things are stressful- have been since May- when I moved in with my friend and rented a unit from a sole real estate agent. The real estate agent is really nasty and wants money every fortnight as my friend is on Centrelink and believes she won’t pay if she pays monthly which is perfectly legal where I live. She has made bad comments ever since we moved in and thinks she knows the residential laws when she doesn’t - stuff about wanting keys back when we have paid rent (she won’t show us a rent receipt at all)- that kind of stuff. I was up overnight cross stitching (back into that again and I’m glad as it’s really helped) and I stitched for nearly 2 hours. I’ve also been sick with anxiety and bad depression because of this situation. My friend and I are getting legal help next Wednesday so hopefully that improves the situation.

Sorry about the bad rant! The good news is I’m getting my stuff together with the ndis in terms of organising a support coordinator and hopefully a mental health support worker within the next month. I called a few people yesterday and I found that getting support coordination is easy but getting a mental health support worker is hard due to not enough staff in organisations. Has anyone else had trouble with this area?

Okay! Have a great day everyone and hopefully I’ll be back tomorrow here. I’ve got a coffee to drink and some serious cross stitching to do! Oh, and maybe I’ll try and put the new Taylor Swift album onto iTunes on my computer as well! 😊

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Judi9877 Your tenancy situation sounds like a nightmare. It's def not legal for them not to give you a rent receipt. Good luck with the legal advice.

Good to hear you are getting your NDIS stuff organized. Your coordinator of support's job is to find the right people for you so hopefully things will fall into place once you have someone doing that role for you. I'm not sure what state you are in but I suggest you have a look at Hireup, Flourish and WayAhead. Also there is a 'find a provider' area on the NDIS website that lists all NDIS registered providers.

Enjoy your cross-stitching!

PS you never have to be sorry for raving here!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Goodmorning @eth @Judi9877 @Former-Member I would be lost without my car and driving. It is one thing that I have always had in my life where the total control is mine as well as the freedom to go where I want when I want.

@eth It is very brave of you to try to get back to driving after so long Hon - as well as the ddriving itself it is the alone time and doing things on your own tht you have to deal with - not easy but if what you have already made progress with is anything to go by then you will be ble to do it. Hugs Hon

@Judi9877 Goodluck with the legal help and getting the situstion with the owner sorted. It seems like they are making it extremely difficult for you both and thst is not at all necessary - hope you can get a resolution and begin to feel more comfotable in your present situation.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Zoe7 It's costing me well over $1000 a year to keep my little car registered, insured and serviced - I woke up one day and decided that if I couldn't use it again by the end of this year I wouldn't keep it. (I know, I can undecide!) But I know it would be a lot harder to come back from where I'm at now about driving if I no longer had it. My bro and sil get a lot of use out of it so at least that's something I'm contributing to the household.

Thankyou very much for what you say about progress I've already made xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Keeping up the car expenses certainly does add up @eth but it is good that yours is well maintined and your Bro and SIL get some use out of it too. I love my car - I got exactly the car I wanted 5 years ago - paid cash for it as I had hte savings then. That was before I bought my house (and got Toby) so was renting and did not have the added expenses that go with fur babies - so could save quite a bit. I was also working fulltime so thtat helped. I wouldn't change anything in regards to my house and fur babies but they certainly do add to expenses. Still struggling with money - especially being sick this week - the cost of meds itself is huge and unfortunately a couple are not on the PBS so have to pay full price. Had the added expense of the new saw too which has put me behind again. Hoping to get back in front by the end of next month but it will be tight until then. Being sick sucks - in more ways than one!

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