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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning everyone ..... 👋

So pleased to hear about your bone density recovery @eth. I didn’t know it was something that can be reversed ..... but it will make a massive difference for you going forward.

I hope its an okay day for all who pass through here.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thanks @Faith-and-Hope I'm very pleased about the osteo changes too. But today will be a challenging one for me - my adult child is having a double mastectomy by choice today. I've thought about little else since yesterday afternoon. So many things I could say but they're all jumbling in on each other.

Hope today is starting gently and is a peaceful one for all here. @Bunniekins @Zoe7 @Doglover @Angels333 @Shaz51 @Maggie @saturnzoon @MDT @Appleblossom @Adge and all else around here this morning xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

More gentle hugs incoming @eth 💕💕💕

(Responded on the other thread too)

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hope your Mum is on her best behaviour for you too @Bunniekins and you have a nice morning with her I am off to work soon - need to shower first ...more to wake me up than anything lol Feeling very overwhelmed with it all again today but hoping once I get to work it will run smoothly and we can get everything done.

Hope the rest of your day is good for you little pea. Hugs

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That is a lot to occupy your thoughts today @eth so no wonder you cannot think of anything else. It is a big deal so hope the operation goes okay for your adult child and you hear good news. It no doubt brings up a lot of feelings for you though so plenty of self-care today Hon

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks so much @Zoe7 . Thank you for your post and lovely words. I really appreciare it.

Much love to you too.

Doglover xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thinks still ridiculously tough here @eth . Hope things are ok your end.

Doglover xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Doglover, thinking of you. Hang in there. Can you call or text your husband and tell him how much you need him to support you with the meeting? I replied in your 'hospital' thread as well.

Take care

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth hope everything goes well for your son, sending you good best wishes for you and your family, may the angels protect you all eth, and have some comfort.

Hello @Zoe7 hope everything is going ok and well at work so you're not overwhelmed

@Mazarita @Gazza75 @Doglover @Faith-and-Hope @Bunniekins @Doglover @Adge

@outlander @CheerBear @BlueBay @Former-Member @Meowmy @Ant7 @Angels333 @Maggie

@MDT @Shaz51 hope you all have had a good day.

I'm having trouble with my eldest son, he gave us his old car as he brought another one. He phoned me today saying he has got a guy coming to see the car to buy it and it took me a while to sink in what he said so I told him no, but he said he needs it to pay his rent, anyway it ended up where I we said no as my other son is registering it as my eldest cancelled the rego on it when he gave it to me and has now threatened to take us to court which he won't but he doesn't want anything to do with me now.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That sounds so hard @saturnzoon Is the car now registered in your name son's name Hon? Is this the same son that has used your payment details for himself before? Seems like he needs help himself with financial issues - maybe he should sell his new car to cover things and get another one that is cheaper.

Hearing it is painful for you dealing with all this at the moment. Hugs Hon

@Doglover Still sitting with you Hon and thinking of you

@Gazza75 @eth @Mazarita and all passing through - and hugs to you all too

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