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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I love that saying @Zoe7 Talking underwater, with a mouth full of marbles.

Several of my clients do exactly that (non-stop), for 4 or 6 hours straight.

It's exhausting to listen to, I'm surprised they don't collapse from the effort.

I like all your pea outfits @Bunniekins You have quite a collection of them.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Got a couple of kids in my class that are like that too @Adge It would be super cute if it wasn't so frustrating

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry @Zoe7 I put my response to you on the wrong thread (Good morning).

I tend to do that when I'm tired, I get all muddled up.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

No drama @Adge Don't subscribe to that thread usually but happy to respond to you there as well. Tired here too but have tomorrow off so can do a few things before bed tonight. Are you working tomorrow?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I hope you get to rest up tomorrow @Zoe7

Thanks for what you said (my being tenacious).

Healing up from surgeries does take a lot of tenacity - especially with being knocked from pillar to post, with no Dr seeming to want to deal with the complications.

Yes working tomorrow.

Low hours recently, though that's about the most I can manage.

Because it's working with some of the most demanding clients, & still involves a lot of driving.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Got a fair bit to get done tomorrow @Adge but aiming to do the shopping I need to do in the morning and have the rest of the day for organising and planning - with relaxation times slotted in there too.

It is hard to be driving so much with low energy but good you have less hours to help recover a bit. I certainly value my day off each week - pretty exhausted after 3 days but managing.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Tax agent said (last week) - I'm earning so little: @Zoe7 @Bunniekins

That if I agree to drive my private car for work clients (I'm being pressured to) -

- I won't be able to claim any of the 1000's of Kms back.

That's because I'm already claiming the maximum entitlement.

So I would then be driving my car 1000's of Kms at my own expense - for nothing, not being paid or reimbursed for it.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That is not acceptable at all @Adge If work wants you to drive then they either have to provide the car for you or reimburse you for you kilometres - I would not be agreeing to that at all - you get very little as it is and it is not at all acceptable that you use your own money for work purposes - grrr!!!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes @Zoe7 Your work is so intensive, that I'm sure 3 days would be exhausting.

A self-care day is a good idea.

My Tuesdays (non-work day) became full "appointment days".

No work income (Tuesdays), but still 60 Kms of driving (to appointments).

That wasn't the best outcome (or idea)....

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I used to have all my appointments on a Wednesday when that was my day off but now it has changed to Thursdays I have them after work on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. It makes for extra long days but it is the only way I can fit them all in @Adge 60kms is a long trip for you - especially when you drive on work days for work as well. Hope next week you can have a rest and stay home for a break from driving.

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