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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Just google prefactual and counterfactual thinking it's pretty straight forward. @eth confabulation is also an interesting subject.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Bunniekins Been catching up on sleep this mornign before I hit the school work again. So a lot to still get done today. Hope you have a good day little pea

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 you too Zoe7 :)xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi everyone @Zoe7 @Bunniekins @eudemonism @Angels333 @Doglover @Shaz51 @CheerBear @outlander @Teej @Appleblossom @Faith-and-Hope @Adge @Gazza75 @MDT @Meowmy @Sans911 @saturnzoon @Owlunar @Alone @TheVorticon and anyone else around this morning who I haven't tagged. It's been really nice hearing from so many of you lately.

Beautiful sunny day here today. Hope it is wherever you are too, and that it's started gently. Sat outside eating rockmelon and warming up which helped me settle the conglomeration of thoughts that hit me on waking (and several times through the night).

Big sleep-in here thanks to prn med taken in the wee hours. Still had some crazy chaos and anxiety dreams tho' so not really feeling any less shell shocked than I was after seeing all the old photos of my ex last night (who did a major dv on me). I found the files from my previous 2 computers and totally went down the rabbit hole. 10 years on and the flashbacks and triggers continue. Thank goodness and my psychologist they don't last as long as they used to, I can get back to the present better and don't dissociate so completely. I wish I could truly say "I'm so over it". But it was just the most recent in a long history of traumatic events and complex PTSD just isn't that simple. Lately I've had the feeling that I'm carrying a huge sack of past events on my back and I'm thoroughly sick and tired of the burden. Will be talking about all this when I see my psychologist. At the moment she is training to be a teacher of EMDR and wants to film our next session for assessment by her supervisor. It will be filmed behind me so I won't be identifiable. I reckon I'm going to give them a doozy. I'm ok about this sort of thing because I believe that contributing to research (always anonymously) is one small positive that can come out of the rough road I've walked.

That's my rave for today. I have a day at home alone today so no pressure to put on a happy face for anyone. Will probably spend time escaping into watching eps of a soapy drama.

@eudemonism I'll definitely look up those words.

@Shaz51 I'd love to hear how your talk went last night. Brave of you to get up and talk to the group. Curious about your 'mission' too if you want to talk about it.


@saturnzoon it was really good to see you drop in yesterday. Sorry I had to pike out, would love to catch up with you and how things are going for you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @eth
I had a rough morning over here so I have been trying to take it easy too.
Will probably sit in the sun and read actually. Tried to earlier but neighbours were yelling and arguing...

Hope you enjoy your day. Sorry to hear about the renumerating you are in atm.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth

Can sort of relate to the experiences you're talking about ... the sack of past experiences and carrying them around as burdens... i wonder how many people truly experience this type of thing ??? I've tried to identify the causes which lead to these experiences unfolding, and I've tried to learn from it, and then also avoid it happening again ... but yea, over the years, many things have happened, which literally haunted me endlessly ... in the form of flash backs and negative emotions...

Eude

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

No worries @Bunniekins thanks

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@MDT I really hear you about neighbourhood dramas and how they affect you. I lived in a s#1t spot before I came here and it really takes it's toll. To the point I would lock myself in and be hypervigilant all the time. Triggered flashbacks too. Really hope you get to sit in the sun and have some peace and quiet. You deserve a Sunday break from the way you make such efforts all week.

@eudemonism what you said resonates and resembles me closely. It's like I have bags of jigsaw pieces all mixed up and some missing and am still trying to piece them together and fill in total blocks in memory about several events. I guess at some point I have to simply accept I'll never know, but that realization is very hard to actualize.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yeah I do get that puzzle metaphor @eudemonism is talking of too @eth

Well I made it outside now. Hopefully it will stay like this for a while and the neighbours aren't doing anything atm so thats good.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth @eudemonism Hey eth and eudemonism for me memories are like waves on a shore I remember things and then it fades away like the out going tide. Or like mist it is there then it again fades away into nothing. My pdoc says it is important for me to move on but as I have said in a previous post this is very hard to do as it has a hold on my heart. I can feel the grasp firm and strong sometimes it would be easier to just go with it and go to the dark ... but then I would be letting myself down and my children down so i cant.. It is a continual fight that must be won by the light. I have to move on which I will and am doing. .

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