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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm impressed by your poetry writing @eth
Good on you my friend
Hope you have a good day

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @MDT Hope your day goes well too. I have a feeling you have another interview today. If so, I hope it brings the outcome you hope for.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Phone one yeah @eth
Thank you my friend 🙂

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth

Thanks for letting us know - letting me know - about Grief Awareness Month - a whole month of awareness - that seems a lot - and it is - after all - a very important subject than we all need to be aware of

I am thinking about your living situation - that your family can see what you are doing though the glass windown along the length of your cabin - I would not like that at all - I would feel very uncomfortable with anyone watching

In fact - as long as I can remember I really can't manage anything with someone watching me - I wonder if that goes back to my mother hanging over my shoulder and criticising me every move when I was doing anything - aw - I could hardly bear that and stuffed up everything I was doing - it sure drove us apart as the years passed -

Anyway - I get it that there are other things you can doing rather than spend a lot of time on-line and you discussed this with your therapist nd came to some agreement - but as far as your family is concerned I wonder if it's any of their business

That's your concern however and not mine at all - but I would not like it myself - I have been alone 30 years this year - maybe I have had some much time alone that I am really pleased to please myself - I like living alone

It seems you have plenty to do right now though and I wish you the best with all of it and hope you get good critiques - it's interesting to have a busy life

Dec

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Owlunar Hope you're doing okay today. Thankyou for your well wishes, and sending some back to you xx

Yes I lived alone for 11 years before coming here and was totally used to being 'unto myself' at all times - but overall having such wonderful support from my family here is worth the price of being somewhat accountable. I know I would not cope with living elsewhere at this time.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth I have a thread, I haven’t been using it much lately though. I’ll tag you there later. I hope your day has been goodish.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Angels333 , this is a reply to your post a couple of days ago so I hope it makes sense.

Just wanted to check in and see how you are going? You were doing it pretty tough the other day. Are u feeling any better today. My thoughts are with you.

Homemade sausage rolls sound yummy!

I hope you are ok Angel and doing better than the other day.

Best wishes

Doglover

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Doglover yes, I am feeling a bit better. Still struggling with SH thoughts but definitely just thoughts now the urges are going away. Saw my DBT psychologists today and that was good. I think it's all because I have anxiety going back to work tomorrow. It's all connected somehow.

How are you going, do you have anything on this week?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Angels333 edited a post above that was meant for you but I tagged Eth instead - I bet eth wondered what I was talking about lol

Big day for you tomorrow - bet you are nervous. It is my first day tomorrow with my own class again after nearly 3 years so I totally get those nerves. We can only do what we can do Hon and that has to be enough. I wish you so much luck for tomorrow. I really hope it goes well for you and you get through the day okay.

Look forward to hearing how it all goes tomorrow night (or when you can post).


Hugs and hugs

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Zoe7 , are you a school teacher ? You'll be fantastic with your own class. Yep super anxious today. I'll be thinking about you too. Good morning to all the forum people following along.

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