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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I can't win, I gave notice on this property on the 16th May for 21 days notice as they had the date down for the 23rd May for us to get the keys for the new house which we hadn't even seen yet and then they changed the date to the 31st May now and can't see house until tomorrow and my son is going off at me for giving notice on the 16tn. I had asked him before if i should give notice on the 16th but now hes saying, he didn't say that and hes angry at me, he said he needs a month to move, even though i have been doing mine and Jacobs things for a couple of weeks now and have finished our packing, it's just kitchen things i was leaving till last. we can't afford to be paying rent on 2 places for a month.

I'm not saying or doing anything with him now as I'm to scared to say or do anything, im just laying on the couch watching some shows and not moving so i can't get into trouble again. I don't know what to do except to turn invisible so they can't go off at me.

@Shaz51 @Mazarita @Zoe7 @Meowmy @Appleblossom @MDT

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hi @Meowmy hope you are okay

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@saturnzoon Sounds like you really walking on eggshells. I have felt like that, and it should not be that way in your own home, but it is what it is.

It is so much to co ordinate moving. You can do this. Step at a time. No matter what they throw at you.

Boyz will b boyz.

Take care of you too

@TAB @Shaz51

@Zoe7

Most of you are sensibly asleep by now.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom @Mazarita @TAB @saturnzoon @Shaz51 @CheerBear @eth @Zoe7 @Meowmy @Adge @BryanaCamp lovely freezing weather here. Clear skies with a strong wind which will hopefully roll the pea along on her walk this morning. Have Nirvana screaming in my ears this morning again .... I hope this isn't mania setting in .... I don't think so I feel quite calm ... am listening to Love Buzz and Breed atm. I have never been an Adele kind of pea I have always liked alternative music :p.

Hoping everyone has a super pea day with whatever you have planned. Special thoughts for Zoe7 and saturnzoon hoping today goes well for you both. Love greenpeaxxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Finally slept @Bunniekins @Appleblossom @saturnzoon and all...

The new med doesn't seem to have any side effects either so far so very much relieved about that. I was so sleep deprived with my teeth over the last few days that I am so grateful that the pain meds are working and that I could actually sleep last night - it makes so much difference, Back to work today and hoping the pain stays away.

Still reeling over the recent loss of an ex colleague but there is nothing I can do about that but take the time to process it and grieve in my own time.

@saturnzoon Very much thinking of your Hon with all that you are dealing with. Can you ask for an extension on your current place so it co-incides with your new place to move into? It is such a difficult position to be in but if you explin the sitution I am very much hoping they will extend it for you for that extra time. Your son is not helping at all and that is just adding to the pressure you are feeling. So feeling for you and your situation Hon

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning everyone @Zoe7 @Bunniekins @Appleblossom @Exoplanet @saturnzoon @outlander @Adge @CheerBear @Shaz51

I'm cranky.

I just wrote a long post to you all, with individual responses to what's going on for some of you, and when I tried to post it I kept getting blocked and the message said I had a certain word in it WHICH I DIDN'T. Honestly I don't know what's going on with the forums atm. I'm also getting lots of notifications of threads I haven't been tagged in, despite settings for only to be notified when I am tagged. This is getting frustrating to say the least.

Is anyone else having similar problems?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Not getting some notifications either by the bell or email @eth - or they come much later. This has been going on for several days - also getting notifications of supported posts that I do not subscribe to @Former-Member please pass this on to the tech team.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Hey eth I am not getting notifications even though they are there. There must be a gremlin or two in the works some where.

@Zoe7 really happy that you slept last night and weren't in too much pain. Very sorry to hear about your ex work colleague. xxx

eth and Zoe7 really hoping both you have a lovely day today. Love greenpeaxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

wishing you both really good days too @Bunniekins @Zoe7 xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Ive alerted the team and hopefully this issue will be fixed.

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