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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

They are @Bunniekins and they have been fed too so they are even happier now lol

Toby is already snuggled next to me and won't move far from that spot all night now unless I get up and he follows me. Going to do a little washing tonight so it will dry tomorrow while I am at work. It has been a nice day here today and expected much of the same tomorrow. What else have you been up to today apart from walking and your meeting?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Zoe7 and @Bunniekins for warmth and support.

Had a plumbing day that blew out in time. Should be done tomorrow. The fellow was stressing and needed a bit of calming down. In the meantime I had to cancel city flashmob, but no real harm done. In a way it made me thoughtful about all the things that go to being functional or dysfunctional.... Being a man and stressing about the job ... and what is normal and what we take for granted.

I am more thoughtful than annoyed which relieved him greatly. Cant get my knickers in a knot over renos ...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 went out with son2 to the bakery. It is his morning to get treats he really loves to spend that time together which is nice :). Had a much needed cat nap this afternoon 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You are right @Appleblossom some things are just not worth the stress and things happen that we just need to deal with. It is much like that with the kids - some get stressed about making mistakes but we tell them we love mistakes because that is how we learn - they usually accept that and it calms them down.

@Bunniekins Lovely to be going out with son2 - for both of you. ...and that you had a cat nap. I layed down in the staffroom today and told them to wake me in 20 minutes - suffice to say no-one would let me sleep and even suggested if I did that I may not wake up looking the same - enough said ...the ratbags would have drawn all over me lol

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom renos are sooooo stressful at the best of times. If something could go wrong it generally does. Good on you for being philosophical about it all I agree with you re not 'getting knickers in a knot' as all that happens is it gets you upset and doesn't help the situation. Cool calm collected Appleblossom :)xxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @saturnzoon ! All good, you can still post your post if you want. Sorry I didn't reply to you sooner.

Thanks for the tag @Bunniekins ! It's been a while. Hope you have all been well. Managing ups and downs can be tough but I'm always glad to read the community taking care of each other.

I've been around just quietly. Not been posting as much because @Ali11 has been doing a fantastic job!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 Hehe! they probably would have 😄

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

What an awesome neighbour @Bunniekins! Also, it's so lovely that you thanked her with flowers, do you think that sincere appreciation has decreased in society today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Ha ha @Bunniekins only cos I bin there and dun dat ... took a long time to get that way re renos ... 50ish years ... seen a few and done a bit ... ha ha ... very stressful at times with littlies ... thank god thats over ... til the next batch are cooked ...

@Former-Member Hey great to see you still here after all deez years.

Yep @Ali11 is in there and we sure appreciate dat.

@Zoe7 For a long time ... there was only one mistake and that seemed my marriage choices ... but I am getting over dat. PLenty of good choices in all.

So glad the school appreciates you.

Really hope your mum settles. Mumming is more complicated than being a mummer ala Elizabethan ...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

evening @Appleblossom @Mazarita @Ali11 @Bunniekins @Former-Member @Zoe7 @Determined @TAB @CheerBear @BlueBay @Shaz51 @Former-Member @Meowmy and all.

Went and put my new forms in this morning to NDIS and made sure we got copies and signed a report stating that they received them, so they cant come back this time saying they lost them. Myworker wanted to do some other stuff with me but i don't feel comfortable with her she is to pushy for me and talks over you,so i told her my menta. health is playing up and just wanted to go home and i must of been tired cause i slept till about 2pm, which i never sleep during the day, so not sure why there.

I told you all about the 4 bedroom house ive been offered. i have only seen the outside as the workers are repairing it and we can't see the inside till they finish, which may be tomorrow uniting housing said and then Monday we can check the inside out, it looks omoutside fences all around so dogs can't get out. Hope it has aircon and NBN ready, excited to see it but also nervous.,

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