FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

19,401 - 19,410 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Faith-and-Hope Hi and good morning Faith-and-Hope :Dxxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @eth. I always feel your posts are 'said with love', thanks.

The group and middle are separate. The group is one for women who have experienced family violence and SA. It's heavily based on psychoeducation which, after having done lots of this stuff now on top of my study, I don't need. It's not the women in the group or even the content that worries me, but the professionals and the potential for them to wear too much of an expert hat during their educating/facilitating 😏 My ability to play nicely with people working in industries that have hurt me, is declining. I think it is part of me working through the layers of trauma but I can see myself spending a couple of hours biting my tongue badly! Trying to continue to trust my intuition but also challenge knee-jerk feelings is tricky and something I imagine you'd understand too. I'll see how it goes and pull out if it doesn't go well.

That was a bit of a rave/vent. Definitely chocolate needed in my day I think 😏

What are you up to today? I can't remember from your lots going on this week post.

👋 @Faith-and-Hope ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey there @Bunniekins @Faith-and-Hope @CheerBear

GP I'd love to share my yolngu name but it could be too identifying for the anonymity rule. Sorry. I wish I could.

CB I totally hear you about your feelings about the DV group. I think there's definitely a right time and a wrong time to engage with all that theory , and there's such a thing as enough time spent on it. I did a similar course in 2017 for 8 weeks and I know I couldn't have done it any sooner because the focus was entirely on education, not therapy. And some of it is really confronting that you might already have worked through in therapy. See how you go - here to support you whatever you decide.

Today is 3hrs with my favourite support worker during which we'll go to water tai chi and then plan to clean a couple of rugs and put one of them in the cabin - which involves taking almost all the furniture out. It's nice she's offered to help me with it. She took me to a place that helps women after dv to set up their new homes (I still technically fit that category) and they sold me a lovely large rug for only $20. It's floral with deep red and golden yellow highlights. So I can give back the one that sil wants to use in her new studio. And stop using the jute dust collector I had before.

@Teej good morning to you too. Your question about why people post has really got me thinking about why I do. Not sure I have all the reasons I do, but wanted to say I think any reason for posting is valid in this kind of forum - just connecting with others in whatever way we are able to at the time. There are so many different types of posting, almost as many as there are forumites! Even personal journaling is valid (I don't see it as self-centred) imo as you never know what part of your journey might be helpful to another down the track, and the benefits of writing things out are well recognized. Often it's the process of writing itself that helps us get insight into what's going on for us. I love it when I catch up with your posts and can clearly see how much you have grown over the couple of years I've known you on the forums. Take care xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sounds like a great day @eth 🙂

Far out you give so much hope that the NDIS can be a good thing. It's half frustrating (not really lol) as I think I'd almost take the easier road and give up trying to make the NDIS work for me if it wasn't for you 😉❤

Totally agree with the above to @Teej too 😊

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear I just edited what I said to you in my previous post.

It makes me really happy to know the NDIS part of my writing on the forums is helping you persevere with it. Go hard girl!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for getting it re the group @eth. I thought you would. How much I wish the people who really needed education (the people perpetrating family violence) were more open to education. Grrr! I can't control that one but maybe I can have a little impact in some other way, somehow, one day.

Better fly 👋🌈

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @CheerBear , yes It's lovely to get to meet you too. I am an old member of the forum but I have taken a long break. I got to the point where I really needed to connect with like-minded people again re: MH.

Hey @eth , yep my psychologist is good, I see my quack tomorrow also looking at changing meds and whether to go into hospital for that is creating some anxiety. Spiced pumpkin soup from your garden sounds so yummy. Is it too late for planting pumpkin seeds for the winter? I might grow something, I have the space.....

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hi @eth enjoy your pumpkin soup & new rug. I'm making tuna chilli and veg & barley soup today, some warming healthy stuff for the cooler weather.

hi @Angels333 good luck with your pdoc, I have a great one (took many years to find) and love his positivity towards life & ambitions for my quality of life.

hi @CheerBear I don't have kids but can only imagine it is 100 x harder than taking my cat to the vet, I always feel so mean & he cries. I'd skip the group if you think it will do more harm than good. I don't like professionals wearing their hat too much either, it's tedious.

hi @Bunniekins hope you're having a super day today

I'm feeling pretty unmotivated but trying to put one foot in front of the other, at least get my cookery done so I have healthy meals ahead, I've been eating way too much choccy since a friend gave me a choccy gift & that just opened the doors to choc city.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@BryanaCamp yes I get the same way BryanaCamp. One teeny tiny piece of chocky and I have to have More!!!! I really cannot have any although the protein bars have little sugar if any and because I am a vegetarian/vegan I really need them (like them lol). I agree with group my mh nurse is pushing me to go to group and I have already been to this one and dont want to go again. I hate being pushed and shoved around even if they feel it is for my own good.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Angels333 and welcome back 🙂

All this talk of soup is making me want to make some. It's supposed to be pretty cold later this week and soup sounds perfect I think 😊

Sorry to hear you're feeling unmotivated today @BryanaCamp but go you for trying. We've had choc city here too since Easter after winning a raffle and then the bunny visit. I'm looking forward to it all being gone soon.

Group went OK-ish today (I'll tag you here too @eth). I zoned out a bit and there's a big part of it I'm not a fan of but I enjoyed meeting the other women and having a bit of a laugh with them. I'm not sure if I will go back and was honest about that at the end.

Middle went super 👍 They sat on my lap and did the whole "mum, no, don't, no, please, no, don't" thing then looked down after with "was that all?". Such a case of anticipation being the worst bit, which I totally understand. We had cheesymite scrolls and bought some gel pens afterwards so life is awesome for them again 😆

Hope today has been a good enough one for everyone ❤
19,401 - 19,410 of 27,230