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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Great that you found a good handyman @Appleblossom and can get some of those jobs done around the home. I have so much to do at my place but money,time and motivation is preventing it from being done. For now I just need things to be where they are and accessible rather than miving everything out of rooms to plaster and paint. Probably won't get done until next christmas holidays when I have more time.

Glad you have had a nicer day with your son today - we take those wins when we get them

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Bunniekins @Zoe7 @Appleblossom hope everyone has a nice relaxing evening. Hope I do too!

Seriously frustrated and cranky today as my coordinator of supports told me wed she'd schedule a meeting thurs or fri - I didn't hear from her, spent the day at home in case. Like I've got nothing better to do but wait to hear from her. It's meant to be an intro to a new support worker who I'm supposed to go out with on Sat. I won't be going anywhere til Mon morning if it doesn't happen. Best I don't rant further. I'm more pissed off than I've been for ages.

Glad to hear today went well for you all.

Sorry for venting, I'm just so over her telling me something will def happen and then it doesn't. Even if she's crook it would take 2 minutes to text me. I feel like I'm the lowest of her priorities and disrespected. If it happens one more time she won't have the job after I get my new plan in a couple of months. Don't want to alienate her before then as I need her records, input etc for the review meeting.

FFS she's known for a month that she needed to make a 20-30 minute appointment time with me.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That would be so frustrating @eth Sometimes things happen but it is not good enough to be keeping you waiting when this new sw is spposed to be meeting you on Saturday - this is where they just do not get how much things like this can effect you and it really is not good enough. I hope you hear something early in the morning and can get it all sorted quickly.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Zoe7 If I don't hear from them by 10 am I will cancel Saturday. It's just so rude for them to assume I have nothing to do but wait to hear from them. I really want to go to water tai chi tomorrow!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I would do the same @eth - you do not want to miss water tai chi - I know you love it and you have been away from it long enough.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth I hate that. It is just rude and inconsiderate to have you waiting around all day where as you say a quick text would have been all that was required. Rant away and yes if she stuffs up again find someone else she has shown where you are placed on her list of priorities as you say.

On a bright note it is good to see you being positive and feisty about it and not just taking it which many would be under similar circumstances :)! You go girl!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hi @Bunniekins @eth

sorry to hear your worker is unprofessional @eth , that's so frustrating and rude. hope things are going ok with house-sitting and the dog and garden. and i do hope you'll get to water tai chi.

hope you've had a nice Thursday @Bunniekins that is great you've been able to enjoy your kids, you sound like such a devoted mum.

I'm just having a quiet night in with the cat and hopefully an early night. I had a lovely dinner out with friends last night, really glad I went.

hi to all on the thread, hope you have a good night

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @BryanaCamp hope you enjoy your quiet night in. Good on you for going out last night and enjoying it.

All's been pretty peaceful here the last couple of days and the dog doesn't seem to be having tummy problems any more. I've been cooking for him rice and boiled de-boned chook instead of his usual raw chicken leg twice a day that the family usually give him. Seems to be working.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

sooo good to see S2 wanting to go for walks my super @Bunniekins

Hello @Mazarita , @eth , @BryanaCamp , @Zoe7

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Shaz51 how are you tonight?

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