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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning all @Bunniekins @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @Adge @CheerBear @Exoplanet @Shaz51 @outlander @Appleblossom @Teej @saturnzoon

How is everyone going this morning?

@Shaz51 I think your local community health centre or even your GP should be able to get some in-home nursing for you. Or your local carers organization able to organize a respite place for your Mum to go to.

@Bunniekins I've been wondering how your meeting on Thursday went, if you went to it.

@saturnzoon hoping you found some support re food over easter.

@Adge how's your recovery progressing? Are you able to bend and drive again yet?

Happy times to everyone or at least peaceful.

I have a support worker to take me to and from bridge class this morning. Will be leaving the dog in the house because of something that happened yesterday. Boofhead (sil's bro) next door had to agree to leaving the dog alone if he stayed here while the others are away. Which he did, supposedly. Yesterday it really sounded like him and his girlfriend were on something, at the least drunk, loud and obnoxious - I could hear every word from inside my cabin. I heard him calling the dog and straight away I was triggered almost as much as when he went off at me the week before the others left. I can not speak directly to him since then without hands tremoring and heart racing etc. Yesterday all that happened without me even speaking to him. I made the dog go into the main house and locked all doors. BL&%dy humbug! So from now on the dog will have to stay inside whenever I go out. I just don't trust boofhead not to break his agreement with my brother and cause mischief for me with the dog. Boofhead loves to be provocative - does it at every opportunity.

He was saying loudly 'I'm not allowed to talk to the dog' whilst he was calling the dog!!

This probably all sounds trivial but it's having a huge toll on my nerves. The reason for it is because boofhead plays so rough with the dog that the dog gets hurt, and also thinks it's ok to give him cooked and sometimes rotten food which make the dog sick. It would be really hard for me to manage if the dog did get sick since I can't drive to take him to the vet. Rant over.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Oh eth boofhead sounds so awful I would be super stressed out too and you are doing the right thing keeping to dog away from him. I hate it when people are cruel to animals. Shame you cannot take his cat to safety too. Hope you enjoy bridge today :).

I was so stressed out of my mind that I ended not going to the meeting. It went fine without me apparently and I am really glad that I didn't go I would have thrown up everywhere I was such a mess.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Families and the things they like or believe in are tricky @Bunniekins Thankfully the horse talk was kept to a minimum though yesterday. I can see why you would get annoyed with your mum too - obsessions like that are not great to deal with

@eth so glad you are being proactive with keeping dog inside. It is not ok that boofhead is trying to talk. Super hard for you to have to deal with his behaviour - especially with the more recent history of his aggression.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 it is just very unattractive to hear someone talk about how this person has a bently suv etc. yuk.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It is a very superficial to look at people in terms of wealth @Bunniekins

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 yes it is. she lives in a super snobby area and she gains alot of comfort but also jealousy about it and the people who live there. I am just not like that and it irks me as I say it is an unattractive feature of a otherwise very wonderful woman so I have to try and keep it all in perspective :).

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I am not like that either @Bunniekins I also do not like people talking about wealth )or lack of it in some instances) - we live with what we have and what is inside the person is what is important - doesn't matter whether someone is rich or poor - it is someone's personal qualities that mean the most.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 I couldn't agree with you more :)xxxx.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Off to have another sleep @Bunniekins Have a nice day Hon

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 have a nice sleep Zoe7 xxxx

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