FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

1,851 - 1,860 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom

thanks for the wise words. I hadnt thought of it that way. I seem to very informed but it doesnt seem to get me anywhere and I dont know why. I guess everyones different and have to keep trying but it just gets hard and seems pointless to keep trying.

Your a beautiful swan, I can tel

@PeppiPatty

exercises? What sort of exercises?

I do kinda have a timetable but it does change a lot due to the nature of both of my works, and my current mental and physical state.

But generally a day would look like for me:

7am- get up, get kids up and get them sorted for school

820- take the first sister to school

845- take the second sister to school

between 9 and 12- I take care of pop, his appointments, house work etc

12-3 working at second job

3 and onwards its mixed between study caring for pop , watching sisters till mum gets home, sorting dinner and everything else.

Thats just a general day but it changes a lot since I have to work around how I am mentally, physically, how pop is and his appointment times, my appointment times.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Broken sleep again tonight, coughing disturbing me still. Up and awake to escape the coughs, that increase a lot when I lie down. But I am very slowly improving overall, I think. I'm able to get a deeper lungful of air than I have for over a week now. It's a relief not to be rattling and wheezing on the slightest breath, and to be a little clearer in the head because of it.

But the broken teeth are continuing to cause pain and discomfort throughout the wakeful hours. Tried yesterday to get an emergency gov dental appointment, but can't get in for almost four weeks. In any case, with my chest and sinus infected, I don't believe they would treat me at present. What do you do about a mouth in this state when you can't get emergency dental? I wonder if I should go to my doctor about it. It's the jagged edges cutting into mouth and tongue that's alarming me. How long can that go on without doing real damage? And what do I do about the pain?

Hmmm, not a very cheery post. Hope others are doing a lot better. ox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Update: looks like I'm going to get some emergency dental today, at a fairly low cost. Just spoke to a dentist who will smooth out the sharp edges, so I can make it through to the gov dental appointment without this damage to mouth. I can't even speak properly, sound slurred. Now I just have to get myself into the shower and try to lift my energy to get myself out to the dentist. They are going to fit me in for ten minutes between appointments any time I turn up. Phew to a glimmer of hope with this.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thats a really good start @Mazarita lets hope that cold buggers off too hey ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks, @outlander.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita ❤❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I am worried about the persistence of your chest and cough, but relieved the dentist is helping more quickly.

Thinking of you specially today.

@Mazarita

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Dear @outlander

Yes, this is a hard timetable.

So, I feel like I'm callng the kettle black here:

But we both need to discuss how to get selfcare in your timetable. The reson why I write " I feel like I'm callng the kettle black is because for the first time:

I yelled at my husband lately. I am so so tired and burnt out. Yesterday, Mr G saw his Physiopherpaist and he said to Mr G that there was no reason why he can't walk.....there was nothing wrong with him.

I have been his hands and legs and general side kick for 2 months.

Today: This is what is happening for me:

I made Mr G promise that in exchange of his walking when we took Arlo to the park next to the beach, I would buy him a coffee and gingerbread man. So, I bought him and he couldn't get out of the car. I walked Arlo......took MrG to the shemist, got his meds, got his stuff at shopping centre, drove hpme all ready to do some self care and no......Gotta take him to the hospital for his depo and them straight to work.

I feel like crying.

The dishes are'nt done. The unit is a mess. I gotta get to work.

How are we going to get self care into our timetables how can we do it ?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello dear @PeppiPatty

well we can work things out together. We are a team here and not- well we are individuals- but we all care for each other. I can hear your feeling burnt out but with the good news from the physio im hoping will take a lot of strain of of you.

Dont worry about the mess, not everything has to be perfect. Maybe Mr G can help out now?

What sort of things do you like to do that can implement into your routine or at least a few times a week?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thankyou for your very kind message @outlander.......

You are so intuitive in that I needed to read some kindness......but from a 21 year old....well thsts even better that you have the tools to properly care already.

I've had a terrible day today......Mr g may have been told that he can walk around but he won't.....he is crying on his couch in that I am not running around for him.

I will get up soon and make us scrambled eggs and bacon for dinner.......

I need to work tomorrow and ill work out a timetable for tomorrow where I can get my artwork in.....this is something I need to do....

1,851 - 1,860 of 27,230