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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That sounds wonderful @Bunniekins That is the positive about going out so early - you can appreciate the world around you in a different way in the dark. Have a wonderful Wednesday little pea

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 Thank you you too Zoe7 🙂 xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning everyone. @Bunniekins @Zoe7 @Adge @CheerBear @Appleblossom @Shaz51 @Exoplanet @outlander @Faith-and-Hope

I've missed a few pages of posts and will go back and read them to catch up but wanted to say Hi now in case I run out of time.

Heading out on the bus today to psychology and back, then groceries and the library (have a support worker for 5 hours). Today we will walk in opposite directions around the block to the bus stop - another step towards doing it by myself.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @eth and everyone 🙂

Just a quick fly by hi as I'm heading out for parent teacher interviews in a sec but seem to keep missing you so I wanted to 👋 while I have a moment.

Big go you on continuing to stretch that comfort zone @eth. You sound like you're doing so well with that ❤

Hope the morning is a good one for all 🌈

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear Hope your meetings go well.

I remember many years ago realising I'd reached the point of needing help when I couldn't face doing such meetings at my kid's school. There wasn't anyone else to do it. That was the first time my family bailed me out because of MH problems getting on top of me. Many a story flooding my brain right now but telling myself it was 21 years ago and the guilt has been acknowledged and forgiven between me and adult child.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Zoe7

Hi @Bunniekins

Hi everyone.

Yes, I'm taking probiotics - my previous surgery (almost 4 years ago) left me with IBS.

Plus the good bacteria (gut) were all killed off, by having bowels disconnected for 6 months (with stoma & bag).

I am healing up, it's been a slow road to recovery.

The 2 holes only appeared in the last 2 weeks, which was the surprise.

I so want to go nice places & see nice things, since I'm using up all my annual leave on this surgery recovery - yet my energy is still too low, having to rest often.

So I've not been anywhere much, except shops for groceries, & appointment.

Yesterday's drive into the city (40Km round trip) psychologist, then to see the surgeon (40Km round trip) in opposite direction - floored me.

I had a Doozy whopper headache for 8 hours, after that.

In fact I woke up this morning, with headache back again...

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm sorry if me sharing earlier triggered something for you @eth. It's tricky when memories hit and I find some of the trickiest are the ones where I haven't been able to be the mum my kids wanted or needed at the time.

I missed interviews last year as they fell during a MH admission. Heart sting seeing the disappointment from my kids. We can only do the best we can with what we have at the time though - I really believe that.

Hugs (if you'd like them) ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Adge

@CheerBear

@eth

@Bunniekins

I had another morning where I could not get up. I guess that is the price of my late choir nights.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom Me too.

Although I have no choir night efforts, to show for it.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Afternoon @Mazarita @Appleblossom @Former-Member @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope @outlander @eudemonism ånd everyone

I hope things pick up for you @Adge , It's horrible when you can't do things you enjoy doing.

@eth My ones wish is to be able to accept not being there for my kids as well like you have.

I understand how you feel @CheerBear , I have missed most of my yougest sons things at his school and now again that he's in year 7 I was hoping I could manage and go to all his things but my MH is getting worse not better, my son kind of understands as he sees what I go through but it still hurts, when all other parents turn up. The hardest thing for me is my memory is so bad I don't remember anything of growing up, my kids births, their birthdays and doing things with them and everything else, my psychiatrist says it's from stress or trauma but all i know is that it's the most horrible feeling of not having memories of doing things together. My 3 adult kids says they understand and its ok but to me it's not and of yet I still can't get peace with it.

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