FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

1,831 - 1,840 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hello my special friend @PeppiPatty , have being waiting for you my wonderful friend xoxoxoxo I love your comments xx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

dearest @outlander

sweetheart.......I bet @Former-Member can relate to you........

I have no idea of any other cool groovery young people here...... maybe @Jacques ?

I do know @outlander I felt a fish out of water for years ....from about 16 to 43 years old.....I felt OLD...I just did'nt fit. I thought my arms were detached from my body......my legs would walk they wanted to. I was completely detached from my soul or my life purpose......

I thought I could get better by having something that would care for me and be dependent on me. I gave birth to my first son quickly and it just does'nt work out to be that.....I was wrong.....Now.......27 years later......I can see how extremely lucky I am that my son and I are good and he manages his life well.

But I need to go for a few hours but thinking about my darling forum formites ........

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @PeppiPatty, @outlander, @Shaz51, @Appleblossom, @eth and everyone,

On mobile at friend's place with C. Friend is watching sesame street clips on youtube. It's pouring rain though still warm after a humid day.

Just stopping by to send evening greetings. Lovely to read your messages. ox

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

ohhhhh my @PeppiPatty, my special friend , I need you you caan always put a smile on my face xoxo

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @PeppiPatty

im with Shaz you seem to know what to say, just to make it abit better. Its been such a rough few day (weeks, months, yr). I do know of one or 2 other young people here and thats ok but what about real life?

I do feel old. I mean im 21 and thats all good and well but I dont feel like it mentally or physically. I do honestly feel old and like life is slipping away from me.

Im glad your son Is happy and healthy and you get along well

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlanderI grew up far too quickly. It puts us in a different category for people our own ages.

If it is any consolation I have done some

catch me ups

like salsa

or reading the funnies

or finding fratured fairy tales

at a later age.... better late than never..... harness your energy as your ADVOCATE.

Maybe you will get times in the future to nurture your inner child.

@Mazarita

My teeth probably should have a good check

I stopped going to dentists when I bit into a minty and half a tooth came out .... not a filling

It scared me .... but

it did not hurt ... just on surface ... all white enamel ... I have to admit I was angry or manic.

@PeppiPattyBella

My son introduced me to Jordan Peterson ... he has heaps of good points ... but those

Social Justice Warriors seem to have turned him off.

Turned me off being a Social Justice Warrior.

...just a social justice advocate ...

in a a regular laid back kinda way.

@Shaz51

@eth

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Its so hard when you grow up quick then dont fit in anywhere or how to act and socialise with people who are your own age @Appleblossom

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

The only consolation

I can give you

is

to HANG IN THERE

and remember the little duckling ends up flying with majestic beautiful swans.

In a weird way that has come to path for me

it does not make the suffering better ... but it makes sense in a spiritual way.

I have to go

just for now.

Sleep is a hard one .. we cant control it ... keep doing your due diligence .. ie medical research for yourself

an informed patient will always have a better outcome ... even if it takes a while to get going.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Dearest @outlander

Thank you for your delightful ...... positive message.

I'm older than you, even my two sons are older than you. Do you think that you and others can do better than what I did and maybe do exersises when you may get to know yourself ?

Just some ideas :

keeping a timetable on the fridge on what to do per day : what time ?

like :

7am: wake up

7.20am : coffee and a glass of water and two fish oil tablets

7.25am: shower

7.45am: breakfast, dressed : quick clean of kitchen

OR can you think of anything ?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, anyone around, I'm awake for a chat if anyone else is too. ox

1,831 - 1,840 of 27,230