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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You finally met with a sw @CheerBear How did that go - did you find there was any connection? I am super excited that you might have a volunteering gig that you really want to do CB - everything crossed for you that you get to do that 🤞

It is already really warm here but Cat is happy playing in the garden. I just saw her chasing a bug - so cute 😺 Toby is of course snuggled close to me on the doona lol

How are your fur babies and LF?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 the pool is in its hole, full of water and has to 'settle' for about 3 weeks before concrete and paving surrounds can be done. The filtration system has been set up but is not connected to power yet. And most of the earth works were tidied up a bit before the workers finished. I'm noticing a lot more flies than usual since the earth works and I suspect it might be because so many worms and grubs got stirred up during the process.

Oh dear the 5 year old girl next door is having a full blown tantrum and is squealing at the highest pitch I've ever heard, screaming abuse at her parents and generally shaking up the neighbourhood. Luckily it doesn't happen too often - she can really go to town. I've always found high squealing very hard to deal with.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I am on a little less than you now @eth - 3 in the morning, 4 at 5pm and 6 at around 7pm. My night meds I was having at 8pm but have started having them earlier to try to combat the tiredness in the morning. We certainly do feel like our own walking pharmacy most days but much like you they are working for me and that is what is important.

Oh the pool really is taking shape - hopefully you can get some benefit of it before it gets too cold.

Squealing kids grate on me as well. I have a half-way house over my back fence and often have kids living there that are noisey - but thankfully not always. It can get annoying in the school holidays when all I want is a break from the kids!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It was OK-ish thanks @Zoe7. The worker was nice and we connected over crochet, but the support itself is not what I need and we all recognise that. My annoying plan has funded me for support like 'social education' and household help which is not going to help me, but not for something like mental health outreach support which I need 😑 Grrr but at least it is something, maybe. I don't know.

And thanks re the crossing fingers 🙂 I'd be so excited to be able to do this. It's helpline work somewhere I truly value, which would be an awesome opportunity and experience. I felt confident and had fun yesterday - gotta be a good sign hopefully!

Awww to your fur babies 😊🐱🐶❤ My baby Rocket can't stand the heat and is flaked on the tiles often at the moment (in between annoying everyone/everything else 😆). The big babies don't seem to mind it. Crew is good also thanks. We went to the beach last night and they all had a great time. We found a shrimp, crabs and baby flathead in some shallow pools. Little, who lives in lala fairy land often, then shouted "I found a stingray too" which we all giggled about thinking it was their imagination. When we went to check out the 'stingray' and saw it was actually real (but not alive) our faces went like this 😮😮😮😂😂😂 haha!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear fingers crossed for you here that you get the job. Good on you for being strong enough to recognize when to cut the ties with 'friend'. Hope it goes well with the sw and that you find some compatibility with them. My main activities with mine are going to essential appointments and tasks (shopping, chemist etc) and getting some exercise. Also recently added in some writers centre and womens centre activities and bridge lessons. And going to the water tai chi class twice weekly now.

Not sure if you live in a city or rurally, but once you start looking you might find all sorts of things you can do with them. Also, part of their job is to help you work out what you want to do in order to progress your NDIS goals. If you're in NSW you might find Ability Links operate in your area. They can connect you to a lot of different activities.

Will check out the other thread sometimes. Feel free to tag me there if you want to.

@outlander Hope your day is peaceful and flows smoothly. I saw you had a busy week. Hope you get some me time today.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That sounds like a wonderful outing with the LF esecially finding so much in the water. I love that little found a stingray but you were all not believing them until you saw it for yourself lol

I hear you about the sw @CheerBear The system really is not equipped to provide what is actually needed. It is not set up for 'functioning' adults with MI. I think the premise of the system is that it treats people as if they are beyond caring for themselves at all and this is a very big exaggeration in so many cases. So much money wasted in areas it is not needed and yet not utilise in the areas it is needed

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for sharing @eth. I don't really need that kind of support though, which is maybe where the NDIS fails me a bit. It isn't a one-size-fits-all thing but seems to be trying to be from my experience. I need support to get me into the right headspace to do the things I'd like, not support to actually do them if that makes sense. Once I'm in the right headspace I can manage a lot on my own. Hopefully that can be understood in the plan review eventually 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That's exactly what I'm thinking @Zoe7! I also really badly needed 'in between' support. Somewhere between what the NDIS seems to want to give and full blown crisis services. I lost that someone to call if something happened during the week, someone to advocate for me when I wasn't getting far myself, and someone to check in if I seemed to be withdrawing too much. It's a big grrrr 😠😖😑 Annnnyway...

The little thing with stingray was very funny!

Blegh it is hot! I hope you and yours can stay cool enough today too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Losing those people in our lives can have a big effect on us @CheerBear but there are also up sides - it makes us step up and do those things ourselves and that is a good thing too. You certainly have the strength and courage to do those things for yourself Hon and I have no doubt that you will get through this. It has been a big week with everything that has happened with friend, the NDIS and this potential new volunteering gig so go easy on yourelf CB. I know what you need and what you are provided may be at polar opposites but my hope for you is that this sw can be that advocate for you in a way that best suits you.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth HI eth sorry I cannot talk for long but just wanted to say hi and wish you a fabulous day. Love greenpeaxxx:)

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