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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sounds like you’re making headway @TAB .... good job 👍

About to shower then wake D3 for uni. She missed classes last Tuesday. Too much going on, and first class on Monday was a bit crap - tutor was stressed out and behaving badly.

Okay .... she’s up and off .... got herself together despite being really nervous 🎉

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Faith-and-Hope Good to hear your daughter got herself organized this morning. Not so good about a tutor behaving badly - that's very unprofessional. Hope they are better today. Did you find a suitable support worker yet?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes to most of that @eth .....

We both had the errant tutor yesterday and they were much better than last Monday ..... in my class they were very professional to the point where I would have considered them a different person. In D3’s class they were a little more fatigued it seems, and not quite as steady, but without the experience of last week to compare to, who would know ? In any case, it looks at this stage as though that situation will settle down. It’s just a shame that that was D3’s introductory lesson into our course ..... and together with mr.f&h’s unsettled behaviour, it laid her low the next day. But ..... onward, upward ..... she is engaged and functioning, and functioning well 👍🎉🤞

Yes, I have found a beautiful carer, and just in time ..... mr. is going to be away for an extra uni day this week, and without my carer being virtually on call for the other days in the week, aside from the two we have engaged her for, I would have been stuck again, and very stressed about it. We now have a coping facility, plus a back-up ..... 👍🎉

S2 is up and functioning too 👍🎉

So, so far, so good .... and the visitors her brought over with him last week, then decided he was too busy to manage, head back west with him later today.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That's wonderful news about the carer you've found @Faith-and-Hope .

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Exoplanet @eth @Faith-and-Hope @TAB

Good morning everyone.

Psychologist appoinment this morning, have to drive in & out of city (peak traffic).

Then Termite inspection & treatment, for the entire rest of the day - more than 4 hours, they reckon.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Adge hope things go according to plan and that you have a good session with your psychologist.

Mine's been away the last two weeks so when I see her tomorrow it will be the first time in 3 weeks. I'm used to seeing her weekly. So much to tell her and debrief but it might be an EMDR session - not sure.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

yes, possibly, thanks @Faith-and-Hope it's time out anyway oh, yes the smoking. I guess it's first year re D and tutes, and first one, cos its well not that important at this end of the year esp if you know other students(?)

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Mr.’s mi has triggered genetic mi issues in the kids @TAB ..... part of their recovery is getting their feet under them at uni, making friends, practicing self-care, positive self-talk, etc and getting up and in with life. It’s been a battle, so celebrating any / all

progress.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

well there's lots of people looking for friends at uni esp at the start of first year, that's normal @Faith-and-Hope

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yep @TAB, and “normal”

is exactly what they need.

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