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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

sounds wonderful if it weren't so hot @Exoplanet yeah ice is pretty ordinary these days its all hollow, doesnt seem to last long. Not like old eskys and old ice, would last for days. Maybe your solar panels need a wipe?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom Hi Appleblossom and you are dead right you deserve 'a life' whether in company or by yourself. I remember when son2 was completely off the rails and I was manic I used to run and I ran. It is my little part for me that I wanted to do by myself for myself and because I lost so much weight I could see the results and it felt great. So yes you go for it! I am starting the long road of getting fit again and am doing it with a couple of people but also by myself at times and it is a challenge but a good one.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

good afternoon @Exoplanet , @Mazarita , @Bunniekins , @TAB , @Appleblossom , @eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hi @Shaz51 how did you end up re house etc after floods?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

A bit of response to some of your posts that I missed over the last couple of days.

@Bunniekins Wow to meeting your birth mother. I really hope that went well for you both. I understand it can be tricky - I didn't meet my older half-sister who my Mum had before she met my Dad until we were 50 and 52 years old. She was a forced adoption in the early 60s.

I hear you @Adge and @Zoe7 about taking on too much at once. I'm wondering if that's what I've done. Had a bit of a crash out yesterday afternoon and sent my support worker home early. Just couldn't quite make it through her shift after being out and about the previous 5 days. I really need 'pea' time sometimes too and will have to schedule it in to my new routines.

@Appleblossom you always inspire me the way you get involved in different activities and socialize. I'm just dipping my toes in the water with that lately. So far so good.

Today was good at the craft workshop. We focused on a goal and wrote it down, then incorporated the paper it was on into the head of a doll we made (or started to make in my case!). Some of them were amazing. Mines going to have good strong boots and long strong legs for being able to walk alone again, it's been over 2 years since I was able to. Met some nice women there but haven't arranged to stay in contact with any of them.

But I did join the writers centre the week before and can see more future involvement there. Feels good. I've started doing some flow writing in the morning and using that to delay my first ciggie of the day. Changing out some of the rituals that go along with being a smoker. Have had 2 counselling sessions about giving up strategies which were really good. Have one more in 2 weeks. I decided not to quit completely until my next psychiatrist appointment as the iCanQuit book says that sometimes when you quit your meds need to be adjusted. Want to get advice about that.

I also started bridge lessons this week which is a 14 week comitment and involves homework too.

All the above plus now doing 2 instead of 1 water tai chi sessions every week.

And cooking for 5 people twice already this week.

PHEW!!! It's no wonder I'm feeling the need for some time out!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Hey eth that is a hell of alot of stuff but you know you can do it 😄 All sounds so positive I am so happy for you :Dxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi to you too @Faith-and-Hope Hope you're settling into a routine in your new location by now and that you've found the support you were looking for for your daughter.

Thanks for saying that @Bunniekins How are you?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You are a busy little bee @eth

It is great that you are doing so much and getting something out of everything you are doing. I love the idea of your doll having boots and strong legs - symbolises the strength you have in walking this journey Hon

Water tai chi twice a week will be wonderful - I know you love those classes. I haven't been to the pool for a couple of months - there is no good time now that I am back at work as there are swimming classes on later in the day. I think I need to stop my fortnightly fees coming out and buy a 10 visit pass when I am able to go back in the holidays - I actually don't miss the pool as much as I thought I would but that time really is filled in with work now.

It is also great that you are writing and you think you will get more out of the writer's group - it is great to have that kind of connection in a group and even better if it is through something you love. I hope you can share some of your writing at the next group.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Going to do some chores in the garden now. Removing mulch from the area the new pool will go into and then some watering. The pool is meant to be delivered next week and there's heaps to do for the space to be prepared for it. We've already relocated most of our raised garden beds, but fences need to be removed and lots of other jobs too heavy for me so the least I can do is some raking.

Looking forward to some chat when the timing is right @Bunniekins and @Zoe7

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I need to head off for a while and get dinner organised @eth Hope to catch up with you later also

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