FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

17,431 - 17,440 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That must have been super exciting for you @Bunniekins So lovely that she met up with your daughter and son2 as well - a special day for you all

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Bunniekins & @Zoe7

Yes exhausting.

I didn't plan it that way.

It's often because appointments are only available on the one day.

Or in this case, largely because work never gives me enough forward notice of my shifts (where, when, what) - so the only day (time off) that I can be sure of (to schedule appointments) is currently Tuesday.

Psych appnt went well, thanks.

She is concerned that I might take on "too much at once" - in terms of goals or things to achieve. Then become overwhelmed, & fall in a heap (so to speak).

So she advised me to take things slowly, & try to break things down into "small steps", or just a little at a time...

Ultrasound scan on Thursday will be on my neck (very painful & disrupting sleep).

Dr doesn't want to give me further treatment for the shoulder (bursitis), although it's been getting worse again.

He just recommended a physiotherapist, which I was already doing (seeing) - so I booked physio again, for tomorrow morning.

Adge

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Pea time sounds good @Zoe7 I like pea time too...

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

We do often try to take on too much as we expect we should be doing more than we are but that can then lead to us doing too much and 'crashing' as a result @Adge You also know yourself very well and know what you can and cannot cope with but remember that not everything has to be done at once and you can take your time to achieve things you want to. It must feel even more difficult for you though with all the physical things you are dealing with so take it easy on yourself

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

An excellent reminder @Zoe7 Not everything has to be done at once.

Even though it would be so nice, if it had been done yesterday...

Fear (or negative thinking) that "this is my only opportunity" - motivates my trying to do it all at once (not so good)...

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Fear is such a common factor in what we can and cannot achieve @Adge but you don't need to do everything at once - the tortoise always beats the hair buddy - so take it slowly and do what you can - the rest will wait for another day.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I so love the Tortoise & Hare story @Zoe7

"Slow & steady wins the race".

Or is it "Good looks alone aren't enough"?

Because the Hare is maybe much better-looking, than the Tortoise - but the Tortoise was far more dedicated...

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

LOL @Adge I guess the good looks are in the eye of the beholder - I kind of like the tortoise in terms of looks too - think they are pretty cute but get what you mean.

Never actually thought about that story from that angle before. It is wonderful though that we can take the same story and look at it from different angles - different views are food for thought.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning to @Zoe7 @Mazarita @Adge @eth @Exoplanet @outlander and all those who pass hoping everyone is well and has a wonderful Wednesday 😄 xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning everyone
Hoping todays a good one for you.

Thanks for the shoutout @Bunniekins
17,431 - 17,440 of 27,230